Growing up, I was the girl who wore dresses everywhere, loved pink, and always had some sort of glitter on my body. My room was adorned with princess dresses, enclosed by glittery pink walls, and drawers filled with accessories. Now, it is accompanied by a bubbly personality, usually resulting in me smiling and laughing whenever someone looks my way. In other words, I express my joy very openly.
While all these characteristics make me who I am, I have noticed that others often do not see below the surface. They judge, or assume I am capable of much less, similar to the famous Elle Woods from the hit movie and musical Legally Blonde.
Elle has always been an inspiration for me, and I have been compared to her throughout my life, even though I am not blonde nor an aspiring lawyer. When I got around to watching Elle, the Legally Blonde prequel on Prime Video, I could relate so heavily to the title character, even more so than in the original 2001 film. She is underestimated in all aspects, standing out physically and socially with her friendliness and “unorthodox” fashion. I know that feeling all too well. In high school, some would praise me for my style, while most others saw me as a “try hard” or “ignorant” to what others were wearing. In a sea of sweatpants and hoodies, I am a bright floral dress, pleated skirt, sweater, and boots.
I never understood why it mattered so much to other people what I wore. Some comments were mild, “Oh Sophia, how do you wear that everyday?” Others were more pointed, “You know Sophia, wearing that kind of stuff isn’t doing what you think it is.” I never took them to heart, but I still wondered what happened to expressing your individuality? As I got older, there was an additional layer added: the assumption I was dumb.
I might not always say the right thing, and my face is usually confused or shocked, but I am far from having no thoughts in my head. I was an honors and AP student all throughout high school, along with being in the University at Buffalo Honors College. If I was not pursuing music theatre, I would have no doubt that I would be striving to become a history teacher for APUSH (with more enthusiasm than is probably needed). The association between femininity and happiness with stupidity is just that, stupid. I have found that having my own identity, and knowing exactly who I am is one of my greatest strengths.
When coming to a university with more than 30,000 people, it is very easy to get lost in the crowd; as though you truly are one in a million. Seeing person after person, I can barely tell apart who is who. While that is not an inherently bad thing, all I see are the same outfits, combinations, and brands. Yes, trends will always be present (especially with social media; there is literally a new water bottle trend every year), but when almost half of such a massive university looks the same, it is crazy odds to have so many people, and most students look so similar. Even here in college, I still get the same looks and judgments, despite the supposed maturity of the collegiate crowd. From what I have seen, there is an even greater divide between being socially acceptable and being yourself. I am a friendly person who loves to participate in class, but whenever I smile, or raise my hand, others find it ridiculous. Going against the grain is difficult, especially at this age, when feelings of insecurity are at such an ultimate high. However, the importance of being who you truly are will end up being a lot more rewarding than looking back and regretting it. No one who has ever done anything extraordinary in life has been just like everyone else. If we begin to see each other past what meets the eye, we can create a more accepting place to live in. We will not have to live in fear of judgment of our true selves. I wear what I do for myself, not others. The comments and judgmental looks really do not mean much to me. I do not judge other people and their outfits, or assume their academic standing from one look or action. I am a motivated student who loves to participate, and yes, my presentations are perfectly color organized and themed. I will never be nonchalant because that is just boring, and boring is an adjective I hope to never be described as.
So, as I embark on this journey of college, I aim to never lose sight of the person I entered as. I can grow and change, but the opinions of others will not be the reason. Elle Woods has shown me that being feminine is not only fun, but a powerful tool that can work in so many contexts. Being a happy person is the goal in life, so why suck the joy and whimsy out of everything? I mean, “happy people have endorphins and endorphins make you happy, and happy people just don’t kill their husbands,” (Legally Blonde). I am sure there will be more Vivians and Kimberlys to my Elle, but pink does not go out of style, and neither does being kind, stylish, smart, and authentically yourself.
