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Self-Acceptance

When I was younger, I used to envy people who had special talents. I wished I knew how to sing or dance or draw. I just wanted to have people be amazed by the skills I possessed. Sadly, I am tone-deaf, can’t dance as well as I’d like to, and the only drawings I do are character sketches. This never satisfied me as a kid; I wanted to be the talk of the table, the gifted one of the family. I remember begging my mother to put me in dance classes, or let me take lessons for playing instruments. However, being a mother of eleven and having a household of six didn’t really leave much room for money spent on lessons and classes. I understood, but it still bothered me that I wasn’t able to pursue the things I wanted to pursue. As I got older, I accepted that I was talent-less and I was ok with it, content, but I still found myself wishing.

Around freshman year of high school I began to pick up the hobby of writing poetry, something I find solace in to this day. I never wrote to do spoken word, I never really thought I was good at it; it was just something to pass the time. Anytime I let someone read my work (a rarity) they would say it was really good. Of course I paid no mind to it because I thought it was just out of kindness. Then my sophomore year, I remember my teacher praising me for being the only one of his students that year to get an A on the essay assignment he’d given out. Again, I didn’t see it as anything big because “who wants to be praised for writing”? By the time I got to senior year, my college advisor suggested I got into Writing or English as a major because he said I had a “way with my words”. I didn’t take that into consideration because I just didn’t see it.

Now, as I sit here, writing this, I’m so glad that I actually chose to be an English major. I was reading a paper I wrote, and for the first time I finally saw what everyone else saw in my work. I have a way of painting pictures and creating stories when I write. I guess I never paid much attention to it because it seemed to come naturally to me whenever I sat down to write a poem or a paper. This is my talent, I’ve had it all this time just never knew it. I gave my back story because I wanted to point out how many times I never saw what I did as anything worth being proud of. I never allowed the words of the people to resonate because in my mind being a good writer was not as good as being a good singer, or dancer, or artist. I wish I could go back and shake myself and open my eyes to the talent I possessed. What I am trying to say is NEVER compare your uniqueness or your talent to that of anyone else’s because you’ll never be satisfied. Do not waste time trying to surpass other people or envying them because they were blessed differently, it won’t do you any good. Take time to find yourself and love yourself. Find your talent and if you already have one, EMBRACE it and I guarantee you it will change you. It changed me and I could not be more grateful. Give yourself a chance to be your number one fan because once you are, nothing and no one can change it.

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