We all know that in “girl world” there exists a set of non-negotiable, often unspoken rules of sisterhood, which define what it means to be a true girlfriend. That being said, these statements usually come with a qualifier (or two). For example: a best friend’s ex is off limits…unless it’s been at least a decade or two or until she gives you the green light (but even then you should tread with caution and evaluate whether or not it’s worth it), or if you ask your bestie to go to the bathroom with you while in a group setting she’s not allowed to say no…unless she’s flirting with her crush and things are going well (no, being mid-bite in her delicious pasta dish is not a legitimate excuse).
Maybe you think the idea of a formal “girl code” is silly (just because I don’t go to the bathroom with you doesn’t mean I don’t love you to the ends of this earth), but it’s undeniable that as women, we instinctually know what’s okay and what’s not when it comes to interacting with each other. The purest, most universal form girl code was pretty well-expressed by Elle’s columnist E. Jean in a recent post: “Here’s the BLC — Basic Lady Code: Never hate a woman you’ve never met, never date a friend’s ex, never reveal another female’s secret, never leave an inebriated friend alone at a bar, never invite a friend’s enemy to a party, never dine alone with a friend’s boyfriend.” Sounds about right, wouldn’t you agree?
Sooo…what’s the collegiate girl code look like at Bucknell and most of today’s campuses? Here’s the general consensus:
1.) Never shame a girl for going back to the fro-yo machine for seconds or standing in line at the flying bison for fried mac and cheese at 2am. And always honor late night dorm room Domino’s parties. We need to eat, it’s fact. As women, it’s easy to get caught up in calories and sugar and the latest health-food crazes, but sometimes we just need our comfort foods and there’s nothing wrong with that!
2.) You are expected to caf or bison chill until all aspects of the day have been covered. Girl talk is essential—everything else can wait. And also, the atmosphere is undeniably great.
3.) You’re the first to compliment her when she’s dressed to kill, but you’re also the first to tell her that she shouldn’t pair those pants with that sweater ever again. Serious girlfriends accept your quirky, Midwestern fashion taste even though they’re in tune with the preppiest of trends. They’re all for you expressing your unique style, but they’ll never let you take it too far.
4.) You support her when she wears gym clothes all day but doesn’t make it to the 5:30 spin class. A true friend would never bash your body because she thinks you’re beautiful just as you are…it sounds cheesy, but it’s true! That being said, you should probably agree to go to Zumba or Tabata with her even if the thought terrifies you.
5.) It is acceptable to take those perfect fitting jeans out of the hamper for one more night. Every girl understands that when it comes to jeans, sometimes the more worn in, the better.
6.) Parties, interviews, presentations, or just because, it’s completely fair, and even encouraged, to borrow each other’s clothes. Sometimes your bestie is your best stylist and sharing clothes doubles the size of “your” closet! Going back to #3, she’ll be honest and never steer you wrong. Also, it’s pretty normal to have a collection of random items of hers in your room at all times—hoodies, boots, nerd glasses from last weekend’s theme party…maybe even the slippers she left in your room. Yes, you’re that comfortable.
7.) She will text you/call you a million times if you get separated throughout the night….just to make sure you’re okay if you trekked back alone/with some other gal pals or that guy you saw her talking to….She’s mostly concerned for your well-being, but also wants to know the scoop. No explanation needed, it’s girl code.
8.) If you decide to stay in one night, you absolutely must keep your phone on to check in on her periodically. Of course you know she’s a big girl and can take care of herself, but you want to be sure you can run to her rescue if needed. No explanation needed.
9.) On that note, respect the value of a night in. If you’re really not feeling going out and just want a date with your bed and Netflix, a true friend will totally understand…as long as you don’t pull that card every weekend!
10.) ALWAYS lift each other up. We all have bad days, tough weeks, and trying times. Real girl friends will sit by your side when you cry for no reason, laugh with you over the silliest things, and provide endless hugs, laughs, and affirmations that yes, you are absolutely incredible and their lives wouldn’t be nearly as wonderful without them.