Most of us know what we do want for Christmas. Here’s a little list of things I don’t want to see under the tree on Christmas morning.
What else I don’t want for Christmas:
Blackberry: Unless you get me a time machine to go with it. 21st century, 21st century technology, parents. iPhone 5, please.
Fruitcake: Self-explanatory.
Socks: I get these in my stocking every year, Mom.
Underwear: See above comment.
Museum Tickets: Though I’d like to say I’ve become more cultured as I’ve gotten older, I’m still not eager to give up an entire day to spend it at a museum. Sorry, Grandma.
Harry Potter Books: Not because I don’t love Harry Potter, but because I’ve grown up with him. Now, I’m looking for J.K. Rowling’s new book, Casual Vacancy.
Coal: Duh.
New Year’s Eve Plans: This holiday is overrated and I’m over it. Spend the entire night anticipating a kiss that may or may not come? I prefer my couch, a glass—okay, a bottle—of wine and the TV.
You: This might work for Mariah, but there’s no “you” that I want enough to give up everything else. Maybe give me ten years then ask me again, but for now I’m quite content with my presents over any guy I know.