Whether you’re single, a hopeless romantic, or in a happily committed relationship, Valentine’s Day can feel like just another day—except with conversation hearts, bright red teddy bears, and cliché cards that say I like you berry much accompanied by chocolate covered strawberries. Some celebrate the day with their romantic partners, others celebrate a day before with their Galentines, and there are always a few who will simply complain about the “fake holiday” and its connections to capitalism. I’m not here to disclaim anyone’s emotions for February fourteenth, but I am here to talk about love.
Not the love that comes from those Be Mine? cards with candy looped through it that we used to receive in elementary school, but the love that comes from Post-It notes we pass in the library. Not sorting through Valentine’s Day boxes decorated to look like mailboxes, but collecting our random letters and packages delivered from loved ones “just because.” Not the heart-shaped box of chocolates, but the piece of Dove chocolate I hastily grabbed from my desk drawer when you said you had a bad day.
Valentine’s Day always gets advertised around romantic love—while we can celebrate Galentine’s Day on the fourteenth as well, it is still considered separate from Valentine’s itself. But why can’t Valentine’s Day be about celebrating all the kinds of love around us? After all, we’re all experts in love. We’re just not experts in the traditionally recognized fashion of the Valentine.
So instead of immediately groaning at the notion of a happy Valentine’s Day, I invite you to recognize and see all the love around you—in the romantic, the platonic, the familial, the self, the random, the natural, the artificial, the everything, everywhere, and in-between.
So, what do you know about love?
Well, I know about good morning, afternoon, and night texts and GIFs; Personalized podcast in the form of voice memos and Snapchat vlogs describing every minor and major inconvenience; Shared sips from each others’ drinks (especially when they can tell you want it more than your own); FaceTime calls that last five minutes just to say Hi, I missed your voice, I can’t wait until you’re home; Elongating good-byes by waving and shouting I love you! for five extra minutes; Saying goodbye only to start up a new conversation (you’re never ready to hang up the phone); Peeling the orange, cutting up strawberries, washing raspberries; Sitting in comfortable silence; Making a cup of tea after a long day; Remembering the little things (even & especially when you have a memory of a goldfish); Bringing an extra sweet treat because you know they’ll want one at the same time as you; Answering the silly and the serious questions; I see you everywhere I go texts accompanied by photos of autumn leaves or the moon or snow because they know what you love; Offering up the last bite of desert; Smiling at yourself in the mirror; Laying on a rug, talking until 3am, saying everything and nothing but its important all the same; Carrying medicine for any occasion; Rolling an extra hair tie on your wrist; Sharing google calendars to never lose track of each other or time; Spontaneous visits to your room; Sharing spaces; Sharing clothes; Sharing life, girlhood, love.
What I know about love is everything around me.
Happy Valentine’s Day, and may we all find something to love—according to our own definitions of love—around us today and every day!