Philosophers have asked, “If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” Although collegiettes everywhere are dying to find out the answer to this complex question, there is one question that is even more pressing in a Bucknell girl’s mind. The question goes something like: “If I ordered a BBQ bacon cheddar pizza from Pizza Phi and cheesy bread from Dominos in the same night and I choose to deny it, did it really happen?” This thought typically pops into a Bucknell girl’s mind in between hitting the snooze button and reaching for the container of Advil. If you choose to deny that it happened, you must get rid of all evidence. No, I am not talking about getting rid of the pizza boxes. I am talking about deleting the most permanent form of evidence: the texts you sent about it. Unfortunately, texts serve as a permanent record that reminds us of all the things we wish never happened. For Bucknell girls, these texts usually fall under one of three categories: food, boys, and mistakes.
If you or one of your friends goes and gets food, the evidence will be all of your phone. Maybe this is because getting all your friends together to eat takes a lot of planning. After all, eating a large pizza alone is just sad. Eating a large pizza with friends? We call that bonding. When I asked Bucknellians to send me some of their texts from last night, they proved to me just how prominent food is in their nighttime extravaganzas.
Here are just a few examples of what was sent in:
- (610): You told the waitress at Zelda’s that the mozzarella sticks were not cheesy enough and you demanded cheesier ones or you were going to the Flying Bison instead…
- (917): Are you awake….
(917): Do you want pizza????
5 minutes later
(917): I’m taking your silence as a yes, meet you at your room in 5.
(917): PS: Can I borrow $12.68???
- (908): Come back to the room. I ordered cheesy bread and I didn’t have a friend so the Dominos man is enjoying it with me. I am wearing his hat.
While you may want to pretend that Pepper did not become your best friend and let you sample everything on the Zelda’s menu, the evidence is right there in words. There is no avoiding it. You must accept the truth.
The same is true for texts about boys. You may try and convince yourself that that awkward interaction you had with the boy in your statistics class was just a dream; but if you texted your girlfriends about it, the proof is already in the cyber sphere. Bucknellians provided me with a slew of examples that represent the good, the bad and the hilarious:
- (203): He sayse yoooo before EVRYTHING….I dont knw how much longer i can last at this date partyyy
- (978): I told you not to try chat roulette.
- (914): Walking back. Problem is my mixer from last night was ABC themed. Guess what I am not wearing.
Sometimes texts can really demonstrate a learning curve. Sure, you did something stupid that you don’t want to be reminded of. Now that you get the chance to read about it, you have the opportunity to re evaluate your life. Or, you just have the chance to laugh. Read these hilarious texts about mistakes Bucknellians have made:
- (908): Yes she is fine. I am at Geisinger with her now because she damaged her rotator cuff.
(203): How did she damage her rotator cuff?
(908): Twerking during her tuck in.
- (561): Woke up in my car as it was being towed away. I hate the parking regulations here.
- (716): At what point in the night did you guys leave?
(610): At the point where she was trying to get PSafe to chauffer her around to each register
The next time that you are busy texting, just remember that what you say is on record. And if it’s absurd enough, it just might be featured in a Her Campus article.