I know what you’re thinking…how is it July already? Luckily, the 4th is right around the corner, and so is a weekend of sun and summer romances. Summer is all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Well, emotionally hurt that is. Diving into a summer fling can be a wonderful thing in the present, but a nightmare come September.
At this point you are probably wondering about one of the following:
A) What is going to happen when I get back to school and see him?
B) Is being back together with my ex really worth it?
C) What will happen in the fall when my (home bf, fling, etc.) and I split ways?
D) Why don’t I have a boyfriend/summer fling?
I hope you are not fixated on any of the above and you are living a happy, carefree summer and enjoying some time to yourself! Unfortunately for the rest of us, there is one question on our mind: is it worth it?
I wish I could give you a simple, easy answer that would eliminate all of your worrying, but, of course, there is no right answer. Magazines, friends, and moms all tell us one of two things: “go for it” or “it’s not worth it for only three months.” Sometimes, though, the decision doesn’t fall in one of those two categories, and that’s okay! The most important thing to remember during the summer, regardless of your situation, is that it is your decision. So do what will make those 3 months unforgettable for you!
That is easier said than done. Although we all dream that we can have the summer romance like Allie and Noah from “The Notebook,” (and maybe some of you will be lucky enough to have that) movies are not usually reality. So here are some tips from Her Campus writers and readers on their summer relationships.
The Long Distance Relationship
This kind of commitment is very difficult. As Sarah* said, “you have to be 100% sure that you really like the guy, otherwise the relationship will cause you unneeded stress and it won’t work out come fall.” The most important thing is that you must ready to make time for him during your vacation. If you are willing to do Skype dates once a week, send snail mail back and forth or seriously rack up your phone bill, then you can make it work! However, if you are not ready for the commitment or find yourself having to force yourself to call him, then maybe this type of relationship isn’t for you.
The Ex-boyfriend / Ex-boy From Home
Be careful. Of all three summer romance types, this may be the trickiest. Once you get home from college, it is easy to fall back into your regular patterns, and that can even mean an ex boyfriend or ex hookup from high school. From experience, Claire* explained that “although you are bored at home and hooking up with your ex seems fine as you have nothing else to do, this relationship usually ends up with someone getting hurt.” If you enter into a relationship with someone you used to have feelings for (or still do) and they don’t have any feelings for you, it could get ugly fast, and vice versa. I recommend staying away from this guy unless you have both clearly explained your feelings about each other and the relationship. If you are going to casually hang out with an old hook up, make sure you tell him that is exactly what the relationship is, no more. However, if you are going to get back together with an ex, make sure you BOTH want to do this and you both still clearly have feelings towards one another. You do not want any “misunderstandings” of feelings at the end of the summer. Also, remember why you broke up in the first place. If he didn’t treat you well or you two just weren’t compatible, DON’T get back into things with him. This type of relationship might be something you only want to do if you both want to stay together come the fall. Otherwise, someone will definitely get hurt. Regardless of the situation remember that once fall hits, you both have to go separate ways back to college and the atmosphere that comes with that. You need to decide if you are willing to give that up.
The Casual Fling
As my friends would say, summer is all about “YOLO” and living with a carefree attitude. If this seems to describe you, then the casual fling is perfect for you. Why not have some fun with the guy who works at the ice cream store with you or the new neighbor that just moved in next to your summer house. Jess* put it perfectly when she said “just make sure you keep in mind that at the end of the summer, you two are going to have to part ways and move on with your lives. If you can keep that mentality, then you will be fine!” However, if you are usually the relationship type of girl, I don’t recommend a casual fling for you. You may trick yourself into thinking you are okay with him leaving at the end of the summer, but might be left heartbroken and attached in the fall.
Whatever your situation might be, don’t be afraid to fall in love this summer—whether that is with a boy, a new book, or your internship!
I leave you with one, final phrase that has seemed to be a summer motto for me (yes my friends make fun of me for saying this): “Just do you!” Happy summer everyone!
*names have been changed