Some are thankful for a little something extra this year: a new boyfriend. If you are spending thanksgiving with that special someone’s family for the first time, there are a few simple rules you can follow to allow the evening to run seamlessly, while leaving a lasting impression.
Rule # 1–It’s a two sided game-Remember, his family is just as nervous as you are. His mother probably held her breath as you rang the doorbell and silently wondered if you’ll like her just as much as you wondered if she’d like you. His father probably wondered how strongly he should shake your hand without scaring you off. Your boyfriend probably wondered if he remembered to put on deodorant, and if you’d notice that he didn’t. The internal monologue wrought with apprehension and self-doubt is not something unique to you – do remember that.
So what can you do in such a situation? Some do’s and don’t are based in standard etiquette, some are grounded in common sense, and others are just a matter of personal preference.
Rule # 2–Gifts are a must-Do bring a gift. Try and please the hostess or get in her good graces, a jar of fresh flowers upon the table sets the mood for an enjoyable meal and pleasant conversation. Don’t be afraid to ask your boyfriend what his parents would like. You wouldn’t want to show up at a diabetic’s house with a box of Godiva chocolates, or bring an apple pie when his family already baked one. If you forget to ask ahead, gifts like candles and flowers seldom prove detrimental.
Rule # 3– You’re not going to the inaugural ball-Don’t dress up. Nothing’s more uncomfortable than feeling completely overdressed. Do yourself a favor and subscribe to the ideology of less is more: there’s nothing more uncomfortable than sitting amidst a crowd of casually dressed strangers in a ball gown. Granted, this is probably an exaggeration, but the sentiment is still the same. The image you want to convey to your boyfriend’s family is not that of a pretentious overachiever, but rather of a put-together and level-headed girlfriend. Opt for a cute cardigan, a pair of flats, and dressy jeans, or a casual dress and tights, rather than sparkles and heels. Of course, you can always check with your boyfriend to find out how his family outfits themselves for Thanksgiving – maybe formal attire is the norm.
Rule # 4-Be yourself-Do let your personality shine. Remember, you were invited to Thanksgiving not as a formality, but because his family genuinely wants to get to know you. The only way they can do this is if you show them who you are. Don’t be afraid to speak in a room full of strangers, if you have something to say, jump right in! Find the balance between speaking and listening that makes you most comfortable, and the meal will seem effortless and fun.
Lastly, don’t overthink things! Enjoy this day as one off from class, spent with family and friends, and filled with delicious food!
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Bucknell chapter.