There. I said it.
All you Lily Allen fans, you know what I mean. For those of you who aren’t fans, let me explain. The British bombshell has come out with a new song, titled “It’s Hard out Here for a Bitch.” Aside from being generally kick-ass, it’s provocative and you need to listen to it for two reasons: 1) Because of everything I just said. 2) It makes a critical social commentary on a reality that is too frequently ignored. Really listen to the lyrics.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0CazRHB0so
Offended? Maybe you think you just spent four minutes and twenty-three seconds of your life watching something explicit and tacky. And guess what? You’re right. But that’s the point—to elicit strong reactions and provoke thought.
Women are constantly bombarded with messages evoking sentiments of inadequacy and this is especially true in fashion. You’re too fat. You’re not hot enough. Your hair should be longer. Your eyelashes should be thicker. You get my point. Enough is enough. It’s more critical than ever that we realize, while women have made immense progress, there is still a lot of work to be done. This is exactly what Lily Allen is warning us about. She’s urging us to seize any and every opportunity to debase remnants of social oppression and saying we must do it now.
You may be asking yourself where to start. Believe it or not, you can begin in your closet and you don’t even have to burn your bra.
First, we must recognize that gender is a social construct. Gender is highly performative and, if this weren’t true, then drag queens wouldn’t exist. Now, I’m not telling you to ask for the ‘Miley’ next time you go to the salon or to swear off dresses for the rest of your Super Saturdays. I’m just encouraging you to consider what you wear aside from gender labels or social prescriptions. Love cozy sweaters? Venture into the guys’ section. So many women already do this—including fashion mastermind, Vera Wang. Having trouble finding the perfect formals dress? Consider a jumpsuit. Be creative when dressing and shopping. Buy and wear clothes you love, regardless of gender labels. Dressing should be fun.
Secondly, realize you don’t need to be a size zero to look good. If you want proof, google “Robyn Lawley” images. We hear this so often—you don’t have to be super skinny to be beautiful—but it’s time we actually start believing it. If you are a zero, good for you. If not, that’s cool too. Focus on being healthy and feeling great. Stop condemning other women because they’re not the size you think they should be. Truth be told, you shouldn’t be thinking about what they ‘should’ be at all. Your primary concern should be you. Buy what fits. Ignore sizes. Don’t let numbers (that are often arbitrary and highly-manipulated) dictate your sentiments of self-worth. There is room for both the Kate Mosses and the Kate Uptons of this world.
The third and last ‘step’ of this process is as simple (and challenging) as being yourself. What you wear matters because it speaks visually to who you are. What doesn’t matter is whether ‘you’ is Birkenstocks and landscape sweatshirts or Jimmy Choos and bandage dresses. It’s all about being unapologetically yourself and doing it on purpose. As alluring as conformity can be, fight the temptation to blend in. Brands have to make you feel inadequate when you don’t assimilate in order to keep you buying. They have to create a sense of belonging for their customers. In doing this, they inherently create a category of people who don’t ‘belong’, the non-customers. But who wants to be a clone? I’m not telling you where to shop. I’m not saying certain brands can’t help you express who you are. I’m just asking you to constantly be mindful of your individuality. Celebrate it. Remember, fashion and style are about reinventing possibility, creating possibility. It should never feel restricting.
Take Lily’s mantra to heart. Implement her ideas into your mode of dressing. Break the rules. Stop putting yourself and other women down.
It’s hard enough out here for a bitch.