Walking into the library on any given day could be more like an episode of “Dora the Explorer” (you’ve already mastered the backpack) attempting to adventure through the forest of Bertrand. Or to equate the experience to more of an age-friendly, apropos scenario: your high school cafeteria. Finding a seat, like a veritable Cady Heron, is practically impossible. Fear not, dear collegiettes, the HC staff has worked hard to make this an easy process for you with our very own HC Bucknell Bertrand Library Map, with special inspiration from Damian and Janis….do they even go here?
The First Floor:
The Courtyard:
First up we’ve got the courtyard. Hurry to get a spot as these really do fill up fast. Though you may snag a seat with your BFFs to work on that group project (aka spend countless hours on Buzzfeed and online shopping), the dynamic changes the further you go. By the time you’ve reached the printers, The Courtyard often feels like the United Nations. You can be sure to hear everything from French to Russian to Spanish. Sometimes, we feel like we need a passport just to print out our assignment for our 9 a.m. class.
Group Work Center Tables:
Many of us at HC are members of sororities, but these group work tables really highlight the worst of Greek life. You have your annoying, letter-sporting, enormous bow-wearing sorority girls who talk so loudly you’d think they were at a register. Anyone sitting at a group work table in general has no intention of getting work done but is really there to socialize, see, and, well, be seen. You’ll also see all of those forever “busy” people whether OL’s, Tour Guides, or members of BSG who spend all their time talking about how much they have to do and don’t actually do any of it. We see you, Brett Walter.
Library Cafe:
The Library Cafe brings all sorts of students to its caffeine-fueled haven, but those who frequent it the most tend to be the ones who’ve pulled all nighters. You’ll see the girl who is on her eighth cup of coffee by noon, the people who don’t actually do any work and just snack and chat, as well as those of us who buy the PB & J’s knowing full well they taste like crap, but having no time to haul butt to the Bison because we didn’t finish our paper the night before. If you’re looking for our CC Liz Bacharach, you’ll definitely find her here, shaking from too much coffee.
Tech Desk:
The Tech Desk is typically just an anxiety-centered point of frustration for everyone involved. You have the brilliant students who work there on work-study’s, frustrated by rich girls who’ve spilled champagne on their laptop on Wednesday night, attempting to balance blasting JT’s new single and eloquently pregaming, and can’t understand why it won’t work. You’ve got those who are frazzled by the constantly jammed printers, already late for their class. Then you have the people using the staplers who are just generally frustrated at how far everything is away from each other…why can’t you just put the computers, the staplers, and the printers in the same place?! As much as we love having to walk from Florida to Oregon all the way down California… We don’t.
Back Couches:
Finally, we’ve arrived at the back couches where students fight it out to get a seat in an effort to catch a quick cat nap or do some last minute reading. Couples frequent these as well, and their PDA makes us wish that the Children’s Library was still around for them to play in. If you’re looking for senior HC writer Whitney Jerome, check the side tables. We’re pretty sure she has a permanent “reserved” sign there…and it will remain there in her honor even after she graduates.
*Engineers not depicted in layout (please see Dana Engineering)
Lower Level One:
LL1:
Ahhhh, LL1, so quiet, so intense. Here we have those who have actually forgotten where their dorm is as they live in the library and only come out for class (and on rare occassion, social interaction–but don’t plan on a world winning conversation). Those who’ve popped Adderall to finish their papers without even remembering or study for tests lightening fast also frequent LL1. We’d like to provide these folks with a gentle reminder: popping an Addy is cheating, and those of us who don’t would appreciate it if you didn’t abuse it to get ahead.
Collaboration Room
Then we have the Collaboration Room, which sounds a lot like Spongebob spreading his hands to the side and saying “Imagination.” Either way, it’s like entering an alternate universe with brightly colored furniture that does not match its vibrancy to comfort. Colloquially known as the Apollo 13 room, or maybe just by Jon Como, either way you’ll see the IFC president working there…endlessly.
Lower Level Two:
Tables Under the Windows:
DJ Doug Bogan can be found working out some engineering problems here as well as a multitude of LAX bros and their real-life inspiration of Bucknell lacrosse players studying hard before or after practice. Or is it hardly studying? We’ll leave it up to you, and them, to decide. Nevertheless, we are genuinely confused how anyone gets any work done down there as the reverberations of chatter from the first floor creep down there providing some terrible background noise pollution.
Cubicles:
Who even uses those? Let’s be honest, if you’re going to go all out and shove yourself into a small library box to force you to study, go to the second floor.
Bean Bag Chairs:
Our cute-as-a-button writer Molly Davis can be found here, curling up to take a nap or furiously writing a paper.
Second Floor
East Reading Room:
Seniors who are actually getting work done; whoever said second semester senior year would be easy blatantly lied.
2nd Floor Cubicles:
Sophomore frat brothers. We see you with those big headphones trying to look somewhat edgy and hipster. Take a look at yourself: those Nantucket red Vineyard Vines shorts are throwing your attempted look off. Never mind that, you do you, and keep studying.
Couch Room:
The Couch Room brings an assortment of students hailing from all parts of campus. We’ve got the freshmen girls who have yet to find their place to study, some more bow-wearing sorority women, as well as lots of overly exhausted students who have either pulled all nighters studying or spent far too much time downtown and justify sleeping in the couch room as studying. Either way, both types are looking for naps. Be sure to take a picture of them dozing off. Oh, and look for Tricia Sherrard here.
Traditional Reading Room:
Most people are confused even by the name “Traditional Reading Room.” Yes, it does exist; hang left while entering the second floor. People actually study here, though, so if silence is not what you’re going for or decrepit looking paintings and wall decorations isn’t your vibe, the TRR isn’t for you.
East Reading Room:
Yes, we have another reading room but this one is not so much centered in the past. Populated by senior fraternity brothers and sorority sisters, the ERR can quickly transform into somewhat of a mixer at around 3 pm. Having both couches and long tables, the ERR welcomes all types of studiers; even that old man who loves to type viciously, consciously aware of it being the silent section.
Group Study Rooms:
It all depends on the type of study room. As you pass the rooms to go to the bathroom or find a book, you’ll find anyone from uber preppy kids who don’t get their work done ’til the last second to people who just want to socialize and order Dominos. In some you’ll even find an Addy party, while others offer Tuesday morning (really?) hungover bros a place to rest their still-ringing ears and pounding headache. And there is the more studious atmosphere where you’ll find seniors working on their thesis or groups of girls over-studying for their Baby Bio exam.
The worst kinds of group study room students are those who take up the whole room when the actual occupancy is one, just them. They spread out their books, papers, and devices so it looks like there are five people when there are no plans of anyone joining. They typically will also leave the group study room for three to four hours at a time making you feel super uncomfortable about staging a takeover when really they are the ones being straight up rude. They are called group study rooms. Again, the key word is group.
Third Floor:
Somewhat like a fictitious narnia, many have never trekked up what seems like the endless flight of stairs to really discover what dwells on the third floor (besides Liz). If you are loud, breathe heavily, or are one of those obnoxious page flippers, do not venture upwards. Occupied by intense studiers and those that are desperate for a silent environment, these students are not scared to give you the once over if you dare sneeze. We get it, silence is golden, but relax, epitomal library conditions are not achievable, even up here.
So the next time you feel your inner Cady Heron approaching far too quickly, use HC as your own personal Janice and Damian and refer to our guide. If all else fails, remember, you can always jeopardize precious study time and just scale the floors…but let’s be honest, we’re too lazy to go up and down Bertrand anyway. Find your spot, sit, and study. Trust HC, we’re cooler than Glen Coco.