When it comes to House Party, there are winners and there are losers. If you don’t understand the concept of winning: fun, friends, drunken stories, versus losing: police citations, points, consequences, then I can’t help you. If you do understand, read this list and find out how to be a winner.
1) Know the difference between a good House Party story and an infamous House Party story.
Good House Party story = jumping on a frat stage and pulling off a performance like that nerdy guy in the movie Can’t Hardly Wait (class nerd + drunk + Gun’s n’ Roses’ Paradise City = awesome).
Infamous House Party story = jumping off a frat stage and breaking your neck.
People do crazy things during House Party. Days of drinking in large groups tends to do that to people. I don’t care how good of a school Bucknell is, all drunk people are stupid. Fights with cops, jumping off buildings, breaking or damaging real people’s (real people = actual residents of Lewisburg) property is never a good idea. It’s all been done before and it’s not cool, you’re not cool by doing it, and you will fail miserably. You will ruin your House Party and we will all laugh at you. A lot. As Jonah Hill yelled in Superbad; “PEOPLE DON’T FORGET!”
2) If you’re taking your phone out with you, saran wrap it or put it in a Ziploc sandwich bag.
You will drop your phone in a puddle of beer or it will break down because of the heat/sweat in a frat basement. This is a fact. Also, if it’s cold, don’t take a jacket out with you that you actually like or will miss. Buy a beer fleece, aka a ten dollar fleece at Wal-Mart. If you haven’t learned by now that drunk kids take coats that aren’t theirs (and that you will never see it again) you deserve to lose your new winter coat. And we don’t want to hear about it on the message center.
3) You have to see these people on Monday.
Yeah, life goes on after House Party. So, you might not want to do anything that will jeopardize your friendships, ruin your reputation at school, or anything of the sort. You still go here, and this will sink in when you are sober. Make sure that what you’re doing drunk you can live with sober. This is a small school, but not that small.
4) Don’t be the girl on the floor.
Know your limits. Coming from someone who has face planted, gotten a citation, and pretty-much accomplished every embarrassing drunk feat ever, you know that I understand what this means. I can tell you first-hand that being that drunk is really not that fun. It’s fun for approximately 10 seconds before the spins set in and then suddenly everyone is yelling at you to leave (for reasons which you can’t remember, obviously). Nobody likes the mess at the party, and it’s not fair to your friends to ruin their time so they can babysit or take care of you. You’re not in high school anymore, time to stop chugging like it’s the last bottle of peach schnapps at your after-prom party in your parent’s basement.
5) There is free food on trucks uphill.
Eat. Hydrate. Enough said.
6) Don’t be the first-time Girl.
You know, the I’m going to do my first keg stand over House Party! Girl. The I’m going to do my first handle pull over House Party! Girl. Just because it’s House Party doesn’t mean it’s the weekend to try everything. You are the worst. Trying new things this weekend will get you in trouble and you’ll probably regret it. Save it for another weekend, you amateur.
7) Party Smart.
Mostly, see number 4. But, what I didn’t include there is the importance of looking out for one another. Let me be clear on this: if your friends aren’t looking out for you, no one is looking out for you. People at parties are with their friends and aren’t paying attention to you. Watch your drinks and your friends drinks, don’t let your friends drink past their limits, don’t go off alone or let your friends go off alone, make sure your friends are able to give consent if they want to leave with someone and are aware of what they’re doing, and above all, if your friend is sick, unconscious, or acting strangely, get help. It’s simple, look out for each other.
8) Check the weather.
Dress for the weather. Trust me. You are probably not going back to your room for a long time.
9) Don’t mix drugs and House Party.
See also number 6. You shouldn’t be doing drugs anyways, but I’m a realist. I know what goes on at this school, and every other school across the nation. Nothing good can come from mixing drugs and House Party, and if you think you are, like, going to make this weekend so epic bro, think again. The amount of drinking you are going to do this weekend will make anything else you do even more dangerous than it already is. Besides, do you see the amount of cops at this school? Do you know how much they hate House Party and stupid drunk kids? Do you know how serious Bucknell’s new drug policy is? Not worth it.
10) Know your rights.
If, unfortunately, you do find yourself in hot water with people of authority, make sure to know your rights. Usually BSG sends out an email before House Party outlining the differences in your rights regarding the Police or Public Safety. Read it, be informed, and know what to do in a worst-case scenario. Whatever you do, don’t be obnoxious or mean to either. This will just make them angrier and the situation worse. Keep your cool and try to maintain a level of respect, no matter how upset or frustrated you are on the inside.
Be safe, have fun, and House Part
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Bucknell chapter.