After a long summer break, the fall semester can mean returning to long distance for many college couples. As someone who goes to school six hours apart from my boyfriend, it can be challenging being far away from each other with busy schedules. Nevertheless, as we enter our second year of long distance, I’ve been looking back at all that we’ve learned and experienced from the past year apart. For anyone who just started long-distance or for anyone that is looking for extra advice, here are a few tips that I’ve learned from my own experience and from other couples throughout the last year!
- Communication is Key
It is so important to make sure that you and your partner are consistently connecting with one another and on the same page about your expectations and plans for your relationship. Make time each day to talk about what’s going on in your lives, whether it’s through text, phone call, or FaceTime. There is no set amount of time you and your partner should spend talking to each other, but make sure that you are both comfortable with how much you communicate.
- Trial and Error
Obviously, all couples are different, and people have different wants and needs. There are going to be highs and lows because it may take a while to find the perfect balance of connecting with each other and living your college lives independently, but as long as both parties continue to communicate their needs and are willing to compromise, it will get easier! That being said, be sure that you and your partner stay on the same page. If you feel like something is bothering you, make sure to talk about it, otherwise you will just build up resentment and nothing will be resolved. It can also be hard to interpret others’ feelings through text messages or even phone calls. Make sure to be clear and direct when expressing your feelings, and be open to hearing your partner’s feelings and working together to resolve any issues if needed together.
- Make Plans for the Future
My boyfriend and I were unable to visit each other very often last year, so when we started to really miss being together, we would make a plan/to-do list full of things to do when we reunited during breaks (this was actually super helpful for us because normally we can never think of things to do in our hometown)! We made a list of new date ideas or restaurants from home that we missed going to. Then, when break came along, we had plenty of options to make the most of our time together. You could also talk to each other about your plans for the holidays or anything else that could give you both something to look forward to when you finally get to reunite.
- Enjoy “The College Experience”
This one is arguably the most important tip I’ve learned. A lot of couples break up at the start of college to enjoy the typical “college experience” and feel that they might be held back socially by being in a long distance relationship. Of course, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, so if you or your partner is not ready for the commitment of long distance, there is no shame in that, but it probably isn’t the best mindset to have while dating someone. However, with the mutual agreement to stay together and enough trust and communication from both sides, long distance doesn’t have to hinder your experience within your college’s social scene. My boyfriend and I are both extremely involved in our schools’ academic societies, greek life, and social events and do not feel like we are prevented from a positive college experience. As long as you and your partner continue to fill each other in on what is going on in your lives, there is no reason you cannot enjoy your college lives independently from each other.
There is something wonderful about long distance relationships… Although you are physically separated from your partner, it allows you to interact in different ways. You might have the chance to talk more often and learn new things about each other. Most of all, you will definitely appreciate the time you finally get to spend together. As one final tip, be sure to celebrate each other’s successes, big or small. If you pass a test, step out of your comfort zone, or do something you’re proud of, tell your partner! Celebrating even the smallest events in each other’s lives can help you feel closer.