I’m standing with several classmates in one of my high school’s mediocre labs, huddled around a large, plastic bucket full of roses.
Careful not to prick ourselves on the thorns, we sort the roses according to the room numbers written on the small, heart-shaped cards that have been tied to their slender stems with shiny ribbon. The room is awash in cheery shades of pink, red, and purple. The dainty, flowery scent of the roses drifts through the air.
It’s February 14, 2020, the Valentine’s Day of my junior year, and I signed up to deliver roses that students had bought for friends or partners or secret crushes alongside several classmates seeking service hours for one club or another. But the service hours weren’t the only thing that drew me to the task.
I love love. And who doesn’t? It feels nice to be appreciated, and, empath that I am, I feel warm and fuzzy even just watching others exchange gifts and affectionate gestures. All my life, that warm and fuzzy feeling has been what Valentine’s Day was really about— not romance, not being in a relationship, not overpriced cards— but about telling the people who matter the most to you just how grateful you are for them.
My family gives each other valentines, my friends give each other valentines, and most people went through that adorably pure elementary school phase of writing individual valentines for each and every one of their classmates. None of these things are romantic, and they don’t have to be! Valentine’s Day is for celebrating love of all kinds, and what’s wrong with that?
This is the main reason that self-described Valentine’s Day haters get on my nerves. I never would have thought I’d have to defend a holiday celebrating such positive feelings as love, appreciation, and gratitude. I could never understand, what is there to hate about these things?
Unfortunately, I think those who dislike the holiday are only perpetuating the stereotypes they claim to detest. When I hear people diss on Valentine’s Day, they usually start by bemoaning the couples in their social media feeds, then move on to a tirade about the holiday being a scam by the card, chocolate, and/or flower companies that profit from it.
However, when these people spread this narrative— that Valentine’s Day is a materialistic, couples-only holiday— it seems to me that they only succeed in normalizing this narrow definition of the day. I would even go so far as to say their complaints can spark more cheesy, lovey-dovey behavior from those who want to spite them.
But if these haters got off of their bitter high-horses, they would see that Valentine’s Day is for everybody, and there is no right or wrong way to celebrate it. You can express your platonic love for one of your oldest friends by simply spending extra time together on the 14th— you don’t need to spend outrageous amounts of money, post on instagram, or kiss a romantic partner if you don’t want to.
So I guess, to sum up this opinion essay, I would like to send the following message to anyone currently identifying as a Valentine’s Day hater:
Hating Valentine’s Day is not a cool, unique take. People celebrating Valentine’s Day are not doing any harm to anyone, and you can simply ignore them if you truly can’t find it in your heart to empathize with them.
Or, better yet, you could actually fight back against the Valentine’s Day cliches you so despise. Next time Valentine’s Day rolls around, I challenge you to celebrate it in a way you’ve never seen. Cook a nice dinner for your family, make your own cards out of construction paper and craft supplies, make a playlist for your best friend, plan a binge-sesh or a sleepover with people who make you happy, or even just practice a bit of self-love by doing your hair, makeup, and/or nails, or taking a long bath, or doing anything else that you enjoy.
But however you choose to celebrate (or not celebrate), please stop being resentful of other people’s delight.
Love is a beautiful thing, and in a world so full of senseless hate, it feels especially important that we dedicate at least one day to it.
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