Back in high school, I discovered the beautifully unique world of RuPaul’s Drag Race. It was an instant obsession for me – it combined gorgeous fashion, hilarious comedy, and the juicy drama of reality television. At first I watched it just to see if my favorite queens were going to take the crown, but now that I’ve spent so much time with the show and its contestants, I’ve realized how much it’s taught me.
RuPaul’s Drag Race as a franchise has plenty of faults. There have been problematic contestants, overly produced storylines, and issues with complex social issues like transphobia. It’s not a perfect show by any means, but it taught high school me a lot about what it meant to be confident and secure in my own skin. In high school I always felt a little bit like an outsider. I was never bullied or ostracized, it was just a sense of feeling different. I had different interests, a different style, and different political opinions than most of my peers. Watching people be so freely themselves on the show made me feel like I should own who I was just as much.
Even though most of my school thought I was really weird for wearing drag queen merch to class, I found a few close friends who were able to understand the joys of my new favorite show. Junior year, my friend and I took a math class that felt way out of our league academically. Every morning before we went in, especially on days we had quizzes, we would ask ourselves “WWVD” in reference to season 7 winner Violet Chachki. Violet was young, fierce, and completely confident in her ability to slay any and all challenges put in her path. The other contestants on her season looked down on her for being too self-assured and not being able to back it up – until she won the crown and the cash prize. It was her boundless faith in herself that made it just that bit easier to do integrals. “WWVD?” She would say that the only person who can really stop you from snatching that trophy is you.
Drag queens also taught me the importance of sisterhood and choosing to surround yourself with people who support the real you. Watching people in giant wigs scream at each other is honestly a ton of fun, but the moments of true friendship are some of my favorite parts of the show. I started to value the friends who saw all of me and embraced it so much more. In addition, the most successful drag artists are those who are well-rounded. I started to learn that you could be pretty and goofy, hilarious and well-informed, and confident but not cocky. Watching people be so vulnerable about the parts of themselves they’re insecure about helped me to embrace my own perceived weaknesses.
Exploring the world of drag has also been extremely educational for me. It is never the job of a marginalized person to teach someone about their own struggles. But through watching the show I feel as if I’ve been able to learn so much about people who have had different life experiences than me. A lot of queens make amazing online content, host podcasts, or give interviews that chronicle their own experiences as members of the LGBTQAI+ community and of the history of that community. Especially off the show, you can find queens having amazing conversations about race, being trans, and so much more. I appreciate this diverse storytelling so much as I think it has made me more informed and more understanding. I think it’s also really important to note that you don’t need to belong to any of these groups in order to love drag. The performances, humor, and costumes transcend any boundaries and are enjoyable to all.
Finally, I’m so grateful to drag queens for the bonding experiences I’ve had that make me a much happier and more confident person. I’ve bonded with friends over the show – having watch parties and arguing over who really deserved to win. I’ve had incredible experiences at shows, where audience members are so generous with their love and compliments. I’ve even been lucky enough to meet some of the queens who competed on the show and also some incredible local queens. A memory that really stands out to me is at a post-show meet-and-greet with season 9 winner Sasha Velour. At the event, I thanked Sasha for how outspoken she is about problems in our world and how she makes me feel so confident. I basically told her that we need someone like her in the world, to which she replied “No baby, the world needs you.”
Even though Sasha probably has no idea how much that day meant to me, nor do the rest of the queens I’ve become huge fans of, the art of drag is something I’ll always be so grateful for. It has restored my confidence and brought me so many laughs (and looks to be inspired by!) I’m by no means completely self-assured, in fact it’s still a daily struggle, but I attempt to draw on the queens ability to slay every day.
Every episode of the show ends with RuPaul saying “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” so I have to make sure I’m doing the first part as much as I can.
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