This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at BU chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

One of Vogue’s latest issues has blown the internet into shambles, and women from all over the world are speaking about “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing?”

Over the past couple of years, society has seen the “boyfriend’s girl” role slowly become less of a flex. I would argue the reason this behavior is now seen as “loser-ish” is due to the media forcing it down women’s throats. Historically, there have always been pressures to find the “perfect man,” but in the 21st century, women want more.

LOSING YOUR SPARK

“It’s absolutely not every woman, but I do notice that we can become more beige and watered-down online when in a relationship,” content creator Sophie Milner said. To a certain extent, I would agree; it is quite noticeable that when a woman enters a relationship, they loses interest in their hobbies and is seen “outside” less. While it is respectful to quit your “single activities” such as not clubbing and partying as often, it doesn’t mean you can’t continue doing what you love.

It’s important to continue putting yourself first, taking time to do what you love, hanging out with friends, and making time for self-care. But the issue is that some women become so consumed with their boyfriends that they begin to neglect their friends, some even go as far as to say, “My man is my only friend.” I see a trend of losing friends due to no longer putting effort into that relationship because your priorities are different, which isn’t a bad thing.

Still, from an outsider perspective, it could be irritating to be with someone who can’t make time for you.

Woman staring at a window sadly — Photo by Tiago Banderia from Unsplash

WOMEN IN MALE FIELDS

Women are finding their worth.

In the past couple of months, there has been such a significant transition from focusing on finding the ‘one’ to becoming your best version of yourself. The value of respecting yourself enough to walk away from a relationship that doesn’t serve you well is encouraged by the media. This may be due to the recent “women in male fields” trend, suggesting that, instead of allowing men to play them, women will become the heartbreakers. While in some sense this may be problematic, it encourages women to stop dating “bum ass men” that don’t know their worth.

The point of the trend is to make women feel seen; it’s not their fault for how toxic men’s behaviors treat us or try to manipulate a situation. Through this trend, women are forming connections with one another by sharing their diabolical stories of what men say to them, and how they’re no longer accepting this type of treatment and are fighting back. For example, a guy would send a long paragraph expressing how they feel, and in response, a girl would text back, “I ain’t reading all that.” It’s giving men the same treatment that women have received to teach them how their words and actions can impact someone.

The END OF AN ERA: BEING MALE-CENTERED

The Vogue article cites a top comment on the Delusional Diaries podcast, “Boyfriends are out of style. They won’t come back until they start acting right.”

This perfectly captures the current mood: women are done entertaining this type of behavior.

In the past, the media forced the narrative that women only live to fall in love. Thankfully, those sentiments are changing. Women’s new priorities — self-love, emotional independence, and their freedom — are all forms of self-acceptance they’re aiming for. Of course, that doesn’t mean that love is bad. It only means the expectations around it are changing. Romance should uplift you, not take over your life. It should never be the only thing that brings you happiness. Women are not moving away from romance. They are only moving away from the belief that their happiness has to depend on it.

woman wearing a white dress and jewelry — Photo by nappy from Pexels

This discourse is not about disliking men or about losing love; it’s about changing the meaning of fulfillment. “Boyfriend’s girl” is no longer the aesthetic women strive for, as they learn to stop molding their identities to fit someone else’s. Whether single or taken, what is most important is the essence of individuality, the spark, and the sense of self.

So, is it embarrassing to have a boyfriend? Not at all. But losing yourself for one certainly might be.

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Vogue: Is Having A Boyfriend Embarrassing? What They Got Right

So, is it embarrassing to have a boyfriend? Not at all. But losing yourself for one certainly might be.

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