I’m not the sort of girl that’s great with distance. I love to be around people and spend time with others. Yes, sometimes I need a break from life (who doesn’t?), but I get lonely really quickly. I found out that this is especially true when it comes to dating. Maybe some would find me a little clingy, but in my relationship, it’s just how we both are, so it works well. Except when we’re forced to be apart.
My situation was that I was at school in Boston and my s.o. was at home in NY. We got lucky, I can’t deny that—it was only a 3-4 hour drive to each other, so it’s not like we had to get on a flight or anything too extreme. It was still a long, expensive (gasp!) process to see each other, though, so it’s not something we could do a lot. When I first had to say goodbye for the school year, it was absolutely heart-breaking. No matter what I did, I felt extremely alone—texting or Skyping doesn’t replace actual face time. We tried to allot time every day to do something with each other (besides texting which we always did), but it’s hard when schedules don’t line up—I had class throughout the day, and he had his own things to take care of.
Photo Credit: Pixabay
Life was fine for a little while; it was hard but I knew we would be okay. I figured that some fighting would occur as it does in any relationship (let alone an LDR), but we were us and we’d make it through anything. And I wasn’t wrong, we survived and we’re better than ever. But I won’t say that the in-between was any fun. There was more fighting than I would’ve originally guessed, and I wasn’t very optimistic to start. Some days it was more extreme, but most of the time it was petty fights over misunderstood texts. It’s really difficult to tell what the other person is saying or feeling through just words on the screen, and it’s also easy to lash out in a way through writing that you normally wouldn’t. This became a bit of a problem between the two of us; if it was a big argument, it was a big argument. They never really lasted more than 1-2 days, but it still thoroughly bummed me out. This wasn’t us, and I knew it was LDR straining our relationship.
So, I hinted at this issue a bit over text but really wanted to talk about it when we saw each other in person. When we met, discussed our feelings and ways to improve our long distance relationship, and it worked. Ultimately, we were both super unhappy with the situation we were placed in and expected comfort from the other person even though that person was struggling, too. So we found a happy medium: be there for each other and remember you’re in this together.
The biggest advice I can give anyone currently in an LDR or about to go through one is to be prepared for a hard run. As much as I hate to say it, because going into my LDR I already expected difficulties, but it’s going to be more difficult than you will plan on. However, if you really love that person, it’s completely, 100%, worth it. And it’ll work out in the end.
Photo Credit: Pexels
Both partners need to make an effort to call, text, Skype, and visit each other. Communication can’t be one-sided. Imagine giving that happy feeling when their name pops up on your phone to them—it’s nice! I’d also say it’s really important to share your day with them. Don’t neglect to tell them bits of information that they may find important because when they find out about it in the future they’ll be disappointed you didn’t tell them. Just shoot them a text when something happens or send pictures! It’ll make them feel closer to you. (And don’t be afraid to ask them to do the same.)
When heading off to your destination or when they leave, give each other something special—a sweatshirt, a spray that smells like them, etc. It’ll bring comfort on difficult days, and a reminder that they’re always with you. Ultimately, remember that you love them and that they love you. That person behind the screen is your partner in crime, and you’ll be reunited soon enough.
A long-distance relationship is scary and, often times, very hard. But it’s worth it. I hope my honesty in this article doesn’t deter you from trying an LDR when/if you need to. If you really care about the person, give it a shot. I won’t say it’s for everyone, but I think if it’s meant to be you’ll get through it and your relationship will end up being stronger than ever.
Want to keep up with HCBU? Make sure to like us on Facebook, follow us on Instagram, check out our Pinterest board, and read our latest Tweets!