1. Yeah, I really don’t know who half of these people are. This is going to be so awkward.
2. Oooo, cheese and crackers! I’m just gonna stand in this corner and eat and pretend to be busy on my phone.
3. Why does Grandma always say I’m more lady-like every year? Is it my demeanor, or is she just trying to tell me my hips are getting too wide?
4. Oh, yes, hello, please continue to hug me Cousin… Aunt… um, are we even related?
5. Cousin Jane is getting married to a man she met three months ago? Has she seen Frozen??
6. Ugh, I’m eating all the cheese. Mom is glaring at me. SMH, Mom.
7. I should probably pretend to be an adult and offer to help in the kitchen.
8. Chocolate chip cookies? Seriously? What do they think I am, a child?
9. Kids’ table again this year? Yup. Definitely still a child.
10. This is great. Instead of having real conversations about what I’m studying or want to do with my life, I get to watch my six-year old cousin rub mashed potatoes all over his face and declare he’s Santa Claus.
11. I’m just gonna smile and nod and pretend like I understand exactly what Uncle Max is saying from the opposite end of the table.
12. Oh my gosh, look at all this food. I literally want it all. Right now.
13. Ughhhh so full. I’m gonna have to go to the gym like 4 times a week. That’s 4 times as much as I go now.
14. I really should go to the gym.
15. My 11 year-old cousin is getting an iPhone 6 for Christmas? Aren’t Barbies still a thing?
16. Oh, great, now she’s telling all her younger cousins Santa isn’t real. Aren’t you just the little childhood ruin-er.
17. Yes! Dessert! Brought to you by ~yours truly~.
18. Aaaand I burned the cookies. Oh well. There’s always next year.