The Stages of Surviving March Madness When You Know Literally Nothing About Sports

Sports tournaments are seemingly endless. It’s like they’re perfectly scattered throughout the year so non-sports lovers can never catch a break. First, it’s the World Series, then the Super Bowl, and most recently, it seems like everyone is obsessed with March Madness.

For someone like me who doesn’t understand sports, times like these are particularly underwhelming. I really only go to sports-related events for the food, so getting through the entire length of these tournaments to partake in a celebration at the end is not my favorite thing.

One big thing that happens with March Madness is people create brackets and usually bet money on them. Groups of friends or different student groups are known to do this and compete. This makes them extra committed, due to a fear of losing.

Then you get those students who spend their entire class time watching the games — clearly very committed. Whether they have a devotion to basketball or winning money we may never know.

I always find myself in conversations with people about the teams they’ve been rooting for, and if those teams suffer a loss, I end up trying to show empathy and console them when I honestly have no idea what I’m talking about.

The same goes for the successes teams experience. When people tell me they’re so excited a certain team is winning I usually just say “Me too!” but deep down I don’t even know where that team is from.

Watching games is even more of a foreign concept. I enjoy going to sports games in person, but watching them on TV when I don’t understand the rules is a lot to handle.

People are always yelling and jumping out of their seats when any action takes place on the screen. It’s impossible to have conversations with someone who’s completely involved in March Madness when a game is on.

To be fair, I’m sure this is what a lot of guys feel when they walk in on a Bachelor viewing party. That’s just my kind of thing, what can I say? I guess we all just have to accept our different interests.

But, for those of us who are just lost when it comes to sports, March Madness truly does induce a type of insanity.

 

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