Single in the City


My last semester at BU brought many revelations for me. My perspective on my life, my dreams, my faith, my love life and myself drastically shifted. For the first time in a long time, my new mindset allowed me to put myself first before anyone else. It sounds easy enough to do, right? Who else would I put before myself? 

I remember when I first transferred to BU. I second-guessed me even coming here. I had to consider many factors that essentially clouded my judgment: family, friends and myself. But looking back, one of the most ridiculous obstacles I ever put in front of myself was a guy from back home. I almost stayed in my comfort zone by contemplating if I should go to a school back home, in the South, or venture into the “unknown of New England.” I had this picturesque vision of a future with him; however, the future I should have been focused on was my own.

Let’s be real, I got to BU--so a big part of me hoped to date a Harvard man. But the men in Boston don’t typically go for curvy Indian girls, so naturally, I felt there was something wrong with me. There was--and is--nothing wrong with me, and now as a senior about to graduate from BU, I am entirely happy being single, on my own and living this fabulous city life. I think I got into a relationship with the city of Boston. I marvel at this city; the culture, the fashion, the people, the conversations. Although I feel so completely enamored with my life here, I honestly think that if I had a boyfriend, it would screw things up.

I know, that sounds completely weird, but as senior year is coming to a close, it reminds me that this is the time to focus on myself and do what I want. I should be able to live where I want and work where I want. This is one of the most exciting times of my life, and I’m sure, that many seniors feel the same. I won’t ever get this time back and for the first time, I won’t compromise for anyone. So why do we feel like if we’re in a relationship, we need to sacrifice our goals and desires on a daily basis? Like any relationship, there’s a constant struggle of give and take. If a guy was to ask me to give up eating curry food at home, I could work my way around cooking it when he’s not there-- but don’t ask me to give up my dream lifestyle of New York because you won’t be there. 

Here’s the thing, ladies: we’re never really allowed to be selfish. If we are, it’s always under a negative context. I never liked sharing my crayons as a toddler, so I’m definitely not sharing anything that affects my current life. So today, this semester and for the rest of my life as a young 20-something, I choose to be selfish. I choose to be focused. I choose the city. And oddly enough, I choose to be single--because anything but my unhindered freedom right now is merely an unnecessary distraction. It only took me until senior year to understand that I should be making myself happy, and not rely on anyone else to do that job for me. So finally, I choose to make myself the highest priority and I’ve decided to choose me.

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