Congratulations, you made it to college! You’ve made it through the milestones of senior prom, high school graduation, and now you’re finally here! If you’re reading this though, college is probably not what you expected– and you are not alone.
We are told from the beginning of our school career that college is the next step after high school. Maybe you joined a ton of clubs, took AP classes, and volunteered in high school thinking, “This will look great on my resume!” Your whole life was built around being accepted to the perfect college, and to add to that pressure, you had all the adults in your life telling you, “You must be so excited! College is the best four years of your life!” To make matters worse, your older friends always talk about how much they love their own college, and based on their posts on Instagram, it seems like they all having way more fun than you. Spoiler Alert: they’re not, or at least they weren’t at first.
You might be asking yourself, “If college is supposed to be the best four years of my life, why am I eating in the dining hall alone for the third time this week?” Adjusting to, and eventually even loving college, takes time. Think about when you were a high school freshman. Did you have the exact same friends as you did your senior year? Probably not. Developing close friendships doesn’t happen overnight. Take advantage of all the opportunities to meet new people—yes, even the floor meeting with your RA that first week. Try not to get discouraged when the small talk you made with the girl on your floor who you have nothing in common with didn’t fulfill you as much as talking to your best friend from home on the phone does.
On top of constantly trying to connect with strangers, it might be your first time living completely on your own. Figuring out how to live in a dorm with a stranger, how to do your own laundry, how to eat healthy in the dining hall, and missing your people from home are all stressors that make the first few weeks or months difficult, no matter which college you choose.
Okay so, after considering all these things are the same at every college, how do you really know when to transfer?!
Ask yourself if you are only feeling this way because you don’t like being apart from your high school friends, your family, or your significant other, and be honest with your answer. It’s okay to feel lonely in college, but if this is the main reason for wanting to leave, it’s probably too soon. Homesickness happens no matter how far away your college is from home.
Ask yourself if you have tried everything you wanted to do at the school you were interested in trying when you decided to attend. Did you really go to all the club interest meetings you thought you might like? Don’t be afraid to be involved in different things than you were in high school! Have you gone to your school’s football games or explored your new city? Have you taken a class in something you’re actually interested in? Have you looked into studying abroad? Remember, your college experience doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s.
Finally, ask yourself if there are fundamental aspects of the school you do not like. Maybe it’s harder for you to learn in large lecture halls than you thought, the academics are too easy or too difficult, the campus setting isn’t what you expected, the financial burden is too high, or maybe the social culture just isn’t for you. If any of these reasons are the case, or you think of another reason that is something you can’t change about your school, then it is worth considering looking for another college that suits your personality, and your idea of what you want your college experience to look like.
Credit: bu.edu
Ultimately, if you do decide to transfer, leaving your school does not mean you are giving up. It just means that you are giving yourself the best possible chance to find a place you love. No one knows what living at their college is really like when they decide where to go, and it is completely okay to change your mind!
Going through the effort of transferring is so worth it once you realize it’s the right choice for you. Transferring could be the difference between settling or thriving for the next four years. Be patient with yourself while you’re trying to adjust and trust that you will make the right decision for you. No matter what you decide, it will get better!
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