Self Comparison is something that happens to all of us. It has a tendency to arise from a slightly nervous mind — a mind that is constantly moving and constantly thinking. We interact with many different types of people in our life and with that, self-comparison is inevitable. Whether you’re seeing that girl in your WR150 class who always looks and acts put together at 8 am, or the person who can go completely into an academic endeavor without any preparation whatsoever and still does incredibly well, it is so easy to over analyze and overthink about what we don’t have.
Recently, I had a big revelation about what I call “the 3 selves”: self-comparison, self-confidence, and sense of self. All three of these “selves” are very much interconnected. I feel like this one little revelation was so helpful that I needed to share it with my girlies here at BU, all who have in some sense have struggled with maintaining and finding their sense of self in this new social and academic environment.
This is so normal! This is a time of growth and change. Think about how cool it is to be in such a significant phase in your life. When I think back to how much I have grown and changed as a young woman since move in day, I am so fascinated and proud of the person I have manifested into (and you should be too).
Sense of self changes constantly. With that, maybe your self-confidence and esteem will fluctuate. But eventually you will get to that point of contentment and bliss with your sense of self. One of the biggest ways to get to this point of contentment is through downplaying self-comparison. I say downplaying because none of us are perfect and there will always be days when we aren’t feeling too good, and self-comparison or some sort of negative brainwork/overthinking will occur, as that’s only human.
Revelation time! Take that voice in your head — the voice that compares you to others in any way — and act on that voice.
- Treat that voice almost as a hater that’s trying to kick you down and use it as a motivation to be active, fight back and take charge.
- Take that negative energy and space in your head and tell yourself to use it as the motivation that will allow you to grow and advance your skills. Jealous of the person in your class that is just too good at Statistics? Get ahead on the work, go to office hours, reconsider your current study strategies or find new ones, find a tutor, create a study group!
The options are endless! But it’s in being proactive, taking care of yourself, and taking charge of what you want that will allow your sense of self and self-confidence to blossom — and that pesky self-comparison to burn away. Just some food for thought!
Until Next Sunday, Margo