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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at BU chapter.

In my early adolescent days, reading YA romance novels and star-crossed lovers stories for days — including dystopian dream plots —  was my thing. I now realize that these books were both good and not so great in light of how I would later approach relationships and dating. While the pros include a good level of expectations and an idea of how I want to be treated in a relationship, the big and looming con is completely misunderstanding dating.

I guess I shouldn’t completely blame my cluelessness on my reading fixation as a teen. This culture is an ever-evolving one, with so very many people like you and I trying to achieve some sort of romance. There are so many elements to the dating scene that I could have never predicted a few years ago, and I want to kind of sort all of them out in this article because I am a Virgo and do thrive off organized thought.

One pretty fundamental part of dating in college is the apps. Whether you’re opposed to the swipes and likes or frequent them, everyone knows about them. While I’m not going to completely bash the general public because I know people who have created genuine, sustainable relationships from them, I will say from personal experience that it’s not the best. To me, dating apps establish an endless cycle of high hopes and expectations, which always seems to end in disappointment one way or another.

And I completely understand that different things work for different people because everyone has an individualized version of their ideal relationship/what they need at a given time. And maybe one day I will adjust to this technology-centric way of connecting, but as of now, I feel like I would be better at meeting people in real life. Which brings up another problem of concern in the dating area of my life: how exactly do I do that in a non-friendly capacity? The follow-up question would be how do I make the jump from friend to more?

This is obviously a very possible thing/concept because, without it, my existence would not be a thing. But how does it work when I’m in a generation that is in a “lonely epidemic”? I am generally a very friendly person who loves to meet new people, and I do have to admit I’ll throw some flirting around for a few people, but there is still no guaranteed way to know what someone else thinks of you. Also, determining whether someone is going to wreck my life or be a very good addition to it is nearly impossible until it’s too late to reverse my investment in them.

While I have rambled on about a lot of the fears and issues with the dating thing as I’ve experienced, I guess one beautiful concept is at the center of this confusing culture. It’s fate. I know there are some nonbelievers of the universe’s glorious power, but I really do believe that there is a life journey laid out for everyone, filled with great lessons and even better rewards. Maybe love and romance are a bigger picture in this adventure that we all may achieve eventually, just in different ways at different times.

And maybe the universe is giving me essential time to look at myself deeper, to understand myself through and through so that when my destined so and so does come along, I am as secure as ever. Plus, I think I still need to rack up a few more life experiences on my own time for crazy date stories to tell. And if you’re struggling with this whole dating thing too, I wish you all the luck and patience, my friend.


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Noelle Monge is currently a senior in CAS, studying English. She loves earl grey-flavored treats and things that taste like fall, Broad City (#yas), and millennial pink anything. She's a Guam girl living in the always busy, eternally beautiful city of Boston. Hafa Adai all day!