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Experiences

An Open Letter to My Not-So-Little-Anymore Brothers

To my (not so) little brothers,

To be frank, I find it hard to call you my “little brothers” anymore. You are both in high school, and suddenly our age gap of 4 and 5 years apart feels much smaller than it did when you two were first born.

I don’t remember all too vividly when you guys were born, but I know I was excited. I have piles upon piles of pictures of me holding you guys when you were first born, and even loads more of all the pictures mom and dad took of me in all of my “I’m a big sister” shirts that I had.

I do however remember how much fun the three of us had together — when we weren’t fighting that is. We would play outside for hours, or I would force you two to play school where I was the teacher and you two were students. During the fall, we would make an abundance of leave piles and jump in them over and over and over and over again. We would climb those two trees in our front yard, and to this day, I’m surprised no one ever fell and got hurt.

Let’s not forget all those times we fought, as all siblings do. We wouldn’t stop fighting until someone was crying or in trouble… it almost seems like it was a game to us looking back at it.

We grew up, but it felt more like I grew up and you two were always those two little brothers I had that were cute and cuddly. I never stopped to think about how old you guys were getting.

There was that time period where we all just lived under the same roof, but our relationships were no more than that — there wasn’t any more playing together — rarely did we even watch TV together anymore. I was doing my high school thing and you guys were barely in middle school…why would we want to hang out with each other?

Then I went away for college. The day I moved in, mom and dad forced you to hug me goodbye, even though I knew you guys were already planning on how to take over my room and turn it into a man cave. I didn’t think I would be missed much.

Suddenly our relationship changed again, I was in college and there were no longer three kids at home, it was just you two. I bet it was fun, and I know you guys won’t admit if you missed me or not, but you can be damn sure that I missed you.

When I came home for the first time, I actually saw smiles on your faces — they were quick and fleeting but smiles nonetheless — and I knew you missed me. I guess it’s easier to have a big sister when she is only home a few weeks out of the year. I remember hugging you guys so tight; I was so freaking happy to be home with my little brothers again.

But that was the moment I realized you weren’t so little anymore. You had both grown a few inches and one of you was in high school and the other was just about to be. You guys were no longer the babies I remembered, but young men.

It’s crazy to think just how fast time actually flies, and I always forget that even when I’m not home, everyone there is growing and changing just as I am here.

No matter how old you get or whatever stupid teenage things you do I will always be your number 1 fan — even if I can’t get to any hockey games you guys have. I will always be a phone call away and I hope you don’t ever feel like you are alone, because I promise that you can turn to me in any situation.

I’m going to be honest — I will be shocked if you read this or even text me thank you, but I hope you know just how much I love and support you — I only ever want what is best for you. In my eyes you will always be my little brothers no matter how tall you get, no matter your age, and no matter how far apart we are.

I’ll never forget the countless hours we spent playing outside together. Some of my favorite memories include you guys as the best part.

Love,

Your big sister

 

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Delanie is a senior at Boston University who loves Pavement's iced tea and the Charles River. She has a passion for writing and is on an adventure to find the best coffee shop in Boston. 
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