Dear unwelcomed stranger with uninvited advances (also known as: Creepy Guy at T.I.T.S,),
To begin with, I am not interested in you. Was that not clear when I not-so-subtly moved across the room when I saw you edging closer? It’s true, my eyes were wandering the room when we made *accidental* eye contact. I wasn’t looking for you and I certainly wasn’t looking for you to move closer to me. Eye contact for a split second is not an invitation. But come to think of it, why were you staring at me? I didn’t come here to be ogled, I came here to have fun with my friends, and you weren’t included.
And when you somehow miraculously showed up next to me at the bar, I faked that smile; I faked that entire conversation. Your pickup line was beyond stupid. I can’t believe you thought any female would comment back to you about the color of the floor. Anyway, no I’m not Maria, I don’t go to Tufts and I’m not studying finance. I was being polite, but there’s no way I was going to tell you about myself. It was nice of you to offer me a drink but no, I wasn’t going to accept it. I was just looking for a gap in conversation and waiting for my friends to rescue me from you so I could go dance to “Trap Queen.”
It’s funny though, because maybe 15 minutes later I’m by the DJ with my friends and there you are, trying to enter our lip-syncing shimmy circle. Again, YOU WEREN’T INVITED. NO ONE ASKED YOU TO JOIN. JUST STOP AND GO AWAY. And when I threw my hands in the air, why did you grab my left? Do not touch me. You do not have the right to touch me. Do not dance in my space or rub your crotch on me. Don’t violate me. Speaking to you earlier did not give you permission to invade my bubble. Actually nothing I did gave you permission; you never even had my consent to come talk to me.
Who ever taught you this was acceptable behavior to act toward a female? Because it’s the farthest thing from that. Predators aren’t attractive. Creepy weirdos aren’t attractive. Violating strangers aren’t attractive. My advice to you: watch a rom com to figure out how to act around women. I’d recommend Friends with Benefits and Crazy Stupid Love.
Sincerly,
Allison