Some people just get it.
What is the worst feeling? Saying something vulnerable in front of a friend and getting immediately judged. One thing I can’t stand are judgmental people, and unfortunately, there are a lot of them.
That is precisely why I adore the people who are unafraid to get randomly deep, to get personal, and who don’t believe in “TMI.” My friend “type” is the kind of girl who will talk about anything and everything. Even if it is explicit, gross, annoying, or “weird”… who cares? Let it out, girl. Maybe my standards are too high, but at the same time, I could not have better friends than I do, so it’s working out.
Growing up, all of my friendships were way beyond surface level. My childhood best friends know everything about me, from my favorite color to my regrets and secrets — and I know theirs. They know my most embarrassing stories, but with them, I am never embarrassed.
They are all so down-to-earth. Each one of them will be friends with anyone and is incredibly kind. Most of all, though, they have never once made me feel “weird.” My boyfriend, even, is aware that my friends know everything. It’s how we are. That’s why I love them, they just get it.
Naturally, I am a very open person. I always say, “There is no TMI” and specify that I do not judge. Why would I? Friendships, to me at least, are about listening and relating. What is a close relationship if not a safe space to let everything out?
However, being open is vulnerable. There have been many moments where I have been myself and then regretted it. My urge to jump past the artificial and have others do the same can come off as “too strong.” This is understandable. Some people are not as personal, and that is okay too; introversion and shyness are completely valid. However, that does not justify judging others.
The people who reciprocate you, though, could end up becoming some of your closest friends. The more personal you are, the more people you’ll attract who love you for you. They know your faults, but still want to be your friend. This is how more authentic, real relationships form. Getting judged is a risk I am willing to take for the few amazing friendships that stem from it.
I guess I will never understand why some people are so critical. We all can be messy and have our faults. We’ve all tripped in front of people, accidentally spat while talking, and spilled a drink all over. Having boogers in our noses, stuttering our words, and calling someone the wrong name make us human. Pretending to be perfect doesn’t achieve anything but make you appear conceited.
Not only that, but the mindset that you’re above everyone else makes you unapproachable. Perfection happens to be unrelatable because again, we are all human.
So why not embrace the mess?
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