Women are quick to criticize themselves and often use criticism as a mechanism for self-improvement. Science supports that this endless cycle of self-analysis is in fact counterproductive. Self-criticism should instead be replaced with self-compassion—being sympathetic with ourselves.
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Focusing on the negatives lessens self-confidence.
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Self-criticism makes us afraid of failure and more likely to give up.
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You are less likely to learn from mistakes or pick yourself back up after a step back.
So, what do you do? Change attitudes of self-criticism to self-compassion.
Here’s how:
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Be your own friend. While it is important to have your go-to friends to push you back on track, treat yourself with love and understanding.
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Be mindful of where you went wrong or what you could have done better, but don’t dwell it.
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Catch yourself when you begin to scold yourself. Change the language to make it sound more positive.
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Talk to yourself as your friends would talk to you. What words of encouragement would they say? Taking a step back and looking at your emotions from a different perspective can help you understand and regulate them.
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Recognize the small accomplishments in your day. Whether you handled a situation better than before, made a good decision or performed better on a task, take a moment to recognize your self-growth.
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Strike a pose. Seriously. Forming a “power pose,” much like the Wonder Woman hand-on-the-hips move, chemically alters your body. Studies show that people that form a power pose feel more powerful, have higher testosterone levels, and lower cortisol levels. Watch Harvard Business School’s social scientist Amy Cuddy’s TED Talk on power poses here.