How to Help a Friend During a Breakup

Like many of you, I have helped many friends go through breakups. Some experiences have been okay and some have been horrifically, heart wrenchingly bad. While there are many ways to help someone through heartache, here are a few of my suggestions

Be the shoulder for them to cry on

The most important thing you can do? Listen. Listen to them pour their heart out to you for as long as they need. Let them cry or rant or deliberate. Whether they were the ones to end it or not, they will probably need to talk. Junk food and cuddling is encouraged.

Get them out of the house

There will be a period when they just want to hide in their room. That’s perfectly acceptable, but don’t let it go on for too long. Take them to a class at the gym, a movie, a shopping trip, or just a drive. Doing something fun will get their mind off the breakup and remind them that their life is still great. Just make sure you don’t plan an activity that isn’t too closely related to their ex (such as taking them to a restaurant they went to on their anniversary).

Look after their best interests

If they feel like partying, go out with them and keep an eye on them. Upset emotions combined with a few drinks can go south pretty quickly, and you don’t want them to do something they’ll regret. Also, prevent them from calling, texting their ex or posting extensively on social media about their heartache.

Tell the truth (sometimes)

Maybe you really liked their significant other, or maybe you thought they were Lord Voldemort in disguise. Sometimes it’s best to keep your opinions to yourself, but sometimes that can do more harm than good.  If your friend asks for your direct opinion on their ex or relationship, be honest but not brutal. Don’t say anything you know will hurt them, but do share some of your feelings. It may help to have someone confirm their feelings and prevent further heartbreak in the future.

Take care of yourself

You love your friends, but sometimes being their emotional support can be a little tiring. Make sure to take some time for yourself and do something you enjoy. If necessary, tell them you’ll call them later. Of course you will be there for them, but you need to make sure you’re okay too.

With you by their side, your friends can make it through anything.