Relationships, whether they be with a significant other, your family, or your friends, aren’t always easy. There will be great days, and there will be difficult ones but in the end, you know they’ll have your back (in a healthy one, of course). I’ve had my fair share of toxic friendships. Friendships where I did all the work, and where my anxiety went through the roof. It was these relationships that taught me the most important lesson: Support yourself first.
Photo Credit: Saatchi Art – Cami Dobrin
I always looked at my friends as the pillars of my support system. I wanted to talk to them about everything and anything. Soon I realized that, although they were there for me, in the general sense of the word, they couldn’t be there for me all the time.
I wanted to be able to call my friends at 3 am when I was having a boy crisis. I wanted to be able to text my friends in the middle of the day when I was struggling with my impending exams.
It was then that I realized that I couldn’t depend on them to hold me up or to keep me from falling apart. That was my job.
Photo Credit: Twitter
In the past, I had slowly grown apart from different friends who treated me poorly or who were toxic for my well-being, but I was still left shattered. Even though these people weren’t a positive influence, I was somehow still sad to see them go. I had lost a pillar and it felt like my world was rocking back and forth.
I realized that I needed to rely on myself before relying on anyone else.
Slowly but surely, I felt that need for help and advice at 3 am dissipate as I became stronger. Don’t get me wrong, my besties and I are as close as we’ve ever been. They are no longer preventing me from falling, they are waiting to help me if I do.
I learned to support myself first.
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