Sophia Amoruso’s #Girlboss hit the shelves in 2014 and changed feminism by discussing the process of being a woman and creating the brand and business of Nasty Gal. Amoruso became a star, a go-getter woman who doesn’t take no for an answer, and a shining example for young women who want to make it in business.
The “Lean In” culture began in the 2010s, glamorizing hyper-productivity and workplace ambition. But what may have been meant to serve as a scripture for female empowerment falls flat in practice—because as more and more women sought to break the glass ceiling and find success, the heart flame of feminism wanes.
“Girlboss feminism,” rather than acknowledging that there is a flawed system that establishes roadblocks and obstacles for women—especially women of color—implies that women must make choices to create abundance for themselves while playing by the rules of a patriarchal order. It perpetuates the idea that equality can be achieved through individual choices within inequitable systems.
A woman prioritizing her career is perfectly fair and good. A woman seeking financial independence and abundance is fair and good. What’s not fair and good is that to be a successful woman—a “good feminist”—she may have to compromise on what lay at the core of feminism: intersectionality, freedom, and collectivity. There have been plenty of women who “girlbossed” so hard they put other women down in exchange for the approval of an order that systemically puts women down.
Take Tennessee Senator Marsha Blackburn, for instance. It’s no secret that politics are male-dominated—Blackburn is one of 26 women in the Senate. However, it’s also no secret how she got into office in the first place. She is a trailblazer for women, and a business owner as well. During her 2018 campaign, her campaign spokeswoman said that only a “sexist pig” would claim that she couldn’t win her seat. To contradict, she has also made many a racist comment, denies climate change, and voted against the Paycheck Fairness Act, which endeavored to address the gender pay gap.
The irony is crystal clear—a woman who says opposition to her authority is sexist, yet votes against fair pay for women? Oh, please.
Another “girlboss” in politics is Elaine Chao. She served as George W. Bush’s labor secretary for two terms, and President Trump’s transportation secretary for one term (until the January 6 insurrection led to her resignation). During the height of the #MeToo movement, she made statements about how workplace harassment is commonplace and should be brushed off. According to The Hill, she said, “You gotta let it go, because otherwise, it’s too corrosive, it’s too negative, and it does you a double injury because it holds you back.”
Lately, many oppose “girlboss” ideology, so the pendulum swings to an opposite amplitude. As explained in Forbes, “This movement emphasizes comfort, relaxation and the prioritization of personal well-being over relentless productivity and societal expectations.” Online, it manifests as being a stay-at-home girlfriend or wife, typically subservient to their boyfriends or husbands. TikTok’s “tradwife” aesthetic both perpetuates and criticizes this role—with Nara Smith’s meteoric rise to social media fame and the haunting viral The New York Times article about Ballerina Farm’s Hannah Neeleman, soft-spoken women preparing grilled cheeses from scratch for their families took over the internet last year.
I hesitate to say that “tradwife feminism” is backward or a detriment to women’s rights or the feminist movement. What sets the modern wave of traditional femininity apart from historical traditional femininity is that it’s informed by a distaste for hustle culture. It’s a return to the domestic labor and emotional care that “girlboss feminism” encourages women to forego. Can people really say a woman who feels empowered doing traditionally “feminine” things is less valuable, or less of a contributor to feminism, than one who prefers to conquer male-dominated spaces?
How is it that the two “opposite” forms of feminism still boil down to fitting into a man’s world? Feminism, from the fight for equal education to the suffrage movement to #MeToo, has been about fundamentally changing the game. “Girlboss” and “tradwife” feminism are about how to play and win. Neither is necessarily bad. Neither is necessarily better than the other.
It’s time to strip them down to bare bones and see them for what they are.
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