If I’m being completely honest, relationships with friends are probably the most unique relationships we will ever have. Romantic love is cool and all, but have you ever just met someone that you could stroll through museums with while talking about every inconvenience in your lives. And family is the best, but the satisfaction in finding your own people is like no other.
But I feel like most friendships are too over-generalized and that we often expect ourselves to conform to a set spectrum of friendships. When something is off in our relationships, we automatically think that it isn’t meant to be if it strays from the “norm”. So how are we meant to look at friendships? Is having a healthy and unforced friendship possible? To tackle this issue, let’s explore a few elements that often stop relationships from making it.
Similarities and Differences
People are usually brought together by a mutual love of something or even a shared experience. It’s almost a sort of human nature to want a companion that understands you and is willing to talk to you about the things you love all the time always. But what if you run out of things to say in terms of your similarities? First of all, this doesn’t mean you can’t be as close to your person as you once were. It just means it’s time for you to find a new shared thing. And secondly, differences don’t always split people up. You should use the things you don’t share as new life lessons and opportunities to try things you wouldn’t have before.
Quality Time
Look, my love language is quality time so I completely get the desire to be around your bestie 24/7. And while some people can function on a co-dependency, it usually isn’t the best for creating a healthy and long-lasting friendship. After a while, things just get old and kind of exhausting. This also doesn’t mean that you can’t hang with that person anymore, it just emphasizes the importance of time spent equally between different friends and yourself. Sometimes, you need to be your own pal to learn how you can be a greater pal for someone else.
Distance and Periods of Time Apart
While going to college and moving away from home is a good way to let go of toxic and inconvenient relationships, it doesn’t mean that you have to cut ties with everyone in your old life. As we’re moving up in the world and discovering who we are, it’s good to have a reminder of our roots. Also, home friends and old friends still hold a special place in your heart no matter how many new buddies you make abroad. From sweet memories and inside jokes to dreams and accomplishments, these friendships are arguably the most important ones. Even if you go through drastic changes, these homies will always keep you grounded and remind you that you are loved.
Yes, every friendship has its different obstacles throughout its run. But before you decide to give it up and walk away, think about whether it’s the actual friendship that is problematic or just the circumstances surrounding it.
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