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A Frantic Birthday Gift How To

Your morning routine looks a little like this: you wake up, roll out of bed, brush your teeth, check Facebook, get dressed, etc. But what about mornings when you check Facebook and you see it’s one of your close friends’ birthdays, and you completely forgot! You don’t have a gift, you don’t have a card, you don’t have a clue. Come on, everyone’s been there at least once. But don’t panic! We can get you through it. 

First, as most people do, assemble a lovely photo collage or find a dazzling picture of the two of you and write a deeply sincere, heartfelt post for her Facebook timeline. Phew—the public birthday tribute is done! Next, the gift and carbut wait, you have like no money! Head to CVS and make a beeline for the candy aisle—it is your Mecca. Find her favorite candy and grab a few bags, but if you blank, what females don’t love Hershey’s Kisses? Then, head to the card aisle. Immediately on your right (if you’re in the CVS across from Marsh Plaza), you’ll see the 99¢ card section. Find a cute birthday or blank card you think suits your friendship and snatch it up (don’t forget the envelope!). Proceed to checkout. Smile frantically at the cashier.

Now you have all the materials you need to assemble a beautiful gift. This time, actually handwrite a beautiful note to your friend in the card, taking care to mention all the hilarious inside jokes and beautiful memories you both share. And don’t forget to draw some cute pictures! Write her name across the envelope and seal it with a kiss. On to the candy now: If you happen to have some tissue paper, tape and ribbon in your dorm, use it to wrap up her gift. If you don’t (or don’t have time to run back to your dorm), you should consider keeping tissue paper and ribbon from shopping bags for when you run into crises such as this, grab a free newspaper or magazine (they float around campus—check COM particularly), and use it as an alternative wrapping paper. You’ll get points for creativity and problem solving—and chances are, it will be the most interesting wrapping paper she’s ever seen.

Finally, present the gift to your friend with huge hug and beaming smile. She deserves it. (And when she’s not looking, wipe your brow in relief).

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