The Four Best “Worst” Movies Ever That You Should Watch

We all have that movie we watch, knowing it is just terrible but, somehow, we cannot tear ourselves away. There are plot holes, the dialogue does not sound like anything you hear in the physical world, and the storyline is too ridiculous to make sense.

I have made watching these movies a practice. In high school, we would herd groups into someone’s living room and look for the titles with the lowest star rating. Then, we would force ourselves to watch them. Bets were made on who would die first. We would attempt to predict the oh so predictable. We had no knowledge on how movies were made, so naturally, we became critics.

This list contains the best “worst” movies I have seen. May they evoke a sense of artistic superiority and facilitate bonding when watched in a group setting.

1. Perfume: The Story of a Murderer

In this 2006 film, an orphan boy with an incredibly powerful sense of smell grows up an outcast in 18th century France. As an adult, he decides to use his schnozz for evil, and begins murdering women to preserve their scents in a perfume form.

Even after reading this unfortunate movie’s summary, I was convinced it would be good because Alan Rickman was a main cast member. After watching, I came to the conclusion that not even Alan Rickman can save everything.

2. Superstar

This 1999 film stars Molly Shannon as Catholic school girl, Mary Katherine Gallagher. Mary Katherine’s dream is to be kissed and she decides that in order to achieve this she needs to become a famed superstar first. Her plan is all logic. She enters the school talent show to gain the affections of Sky, played by Will Ferrell.

This is a Saturday Night Live movie so the audience is forced to accept that if they want Ferrell, the high schoolers will all have to look at least 40. The jokes are random and off color (Mary Katherine kisses trees for practice and her parents died in an Irish step dancing accident) but, it is fun nonetheless. I first watched this movie with two of my friends six years ago, and we still quote it more frequently than we come up with original thoughts.

3. Cane Toads: An Unnatural History

This 1988 documentary uncovers the story of an exotic species of toad that is wreaking havoc on the Australian ecosystem. While the problem being addressed is major, it is being addressed in all the wrong ways. The interview subjects wear wife beater tank tops and never blink. Campy sound effects highlight actions that do not require highlighting. For instance, toads make loud pops when they are run over by a Jeep tire. To top it all off, a young girl has a pet toad as big as her torso that she has christened “Dairy Queen.”  

We watched this documentary in biology and environmental science class in high school. The teachers for the classes tried to remind us to search for the educational value of the film but, we were too distracted by the man on camera who had found a way to use a toad as a recreational hallucinogen. You just have to see it for yourself. I have kindly included the YouTube link. You are welcome.

4. Shark Night

A group of college friends go for a trip to a house on the Louisiana Gulf only to find (shocker) that there are hungry sharks there. You would think these students would have the common sense to stay away from the water but, that would defeat the purpose of a poorly designed shark movie. Instead, we watch all of the minority characters be devoured until only Sarah Paxton, of Return to Halloweentown fame, is left standing.

In my experience, these four films have been the best awful movies that I have viewed. They have been the source of a good time, a moderate level of confusion, and laughter. If you are no stranger to the bad movie, I hope you find these movies will meet your low standards. If you are unfamiliar with the practice of watching movies such as these, I highly recommend it. Some of the best memories I have with my friends started with the viewing of a ridiculously bad film.  

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