Falling Asleep Tonight

I’d like to be back, just for a little while. In time, in place, in self. I know that I grow up everyday and am in quite a healthy spot of growth at the moment. I don’t even have a lot on my plate— it’s technically summer! However, a day is not so easily received here in the late summer of 2020. 

A global pandemic, a bursting and racist country structure, and the navigation of fighting back when we’re supposed to be staying in. And none of that even directly affects me; I am privileged to be feeling only the weight that I do right now. 

crowd of protesters holding Black Lives Matter signs Photo by Life Matters from Pexels Suddenly, I don’t know how best to exist in this world. This world that is so clearly begging for a thoughtful reset. So many deep-rooted, long-standing ways are crumbling or bursting into flames. 

Our government: what we choose to spend our money on and what we DON’T choose to spend it on; how we manage law abiding and who we choose to give that responsibility to; who is unfairly inherently favored. 

person holding a sign that says Photo by Marco Allasio from Pexels Our Earth: the imbalance of how much we take and how much we give back; our inability to see the non-permanence of all it provides; our lack of unity and knowledge in taking care of our home. 

All of the above are a result of the capitalistic, materialistic, status-oriented bubble which is cloaked in ignorance to any different. These structures seem so big to reset that we don’t even consider that an option. It’s not feasible, and definitely not practical. 

And yet, I still feel that the very nature of humans and Earth, and the relationships between and among, is goodness. Love. Joy. The sun, the moon, and the face right next to our own feed from our smiles in the healthiest way. 

That being said, this is not a time to be smiling, unfortunately. This is a time to be listening to the cry for help from the very core of all that we have built up, to prioritize that cry, and to feel uncomfortable until change is made. It is our duty. 

sign saying fight today for a better tomorrow Markus Spiske / Pexels But oh, how am I supposed to fall asleep tonight with such a big job to do?!

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