Ladies of our generation, not to be too corny, but where has the romanticism gone in our boys? The over the top gestures we see in the movies or these stories we hear of how it “used to be” are nowhere in sight. It’s annoying and frustrating that all these fellas are about is, well you know. And I understand to a point, I have guy friends and a brotastic brother, but they have to understand where we are coming from sometimes, right? I have to be honest, unless I was already dating the guy or we were “seeing each other” or “hooking up” (whatever those terms actually mean), I’ve never been on a legitimate first date where you meet a dude for the first time, he gets your number, picks you up, takes you to dinner and that’s it. Maybe I’m alone in this, but I don’t think so. We always “hangout” or “meet up” at a bar with all your friends staring and the drinks are flowing. Not to say that these endeavors aren’t fun, because they are, but at a point they start to get old. I am hoping that post college this concept will begin to change, but who knows.
Judging by the experiences of MANY close girlfriends and my own, I think Facebook and texting have played a MAJOR role in these new romantic norms. Technology in general has. I remember freshman year of high school getting asked to be someone’s girlfriend on AIM. Now, I blame that on the young age, but come on man. We use technology for everything—drama, fighting, and creeping.
I understand if you’re shy and Facebook inboxing seems like a good idea to strike up a convo. But there’s a big difference between inboxing someone to possibly meet for lunch midday, between inboxing a girl you barely know, at two in the morning, while you are still in the bar and she’s there too, but you were just too afraid to go talk to her. Everyone makes mistakes, and I am absolutely not the queen of dating by ANY means, but I have had too many run-ins with complete creepers, as we like to call them. Avoid Facebook if possible, at least try texting first.
Texting is another whole situation with, “the late night text.” I love texting. Phone calls can be super awkward and uncomfortable in any situation. It’s the curse of our generation. Texting is the preferred way of communication. But past a certain hour the night, texts can come in with one mission, and one mission only. Girls send plenty of them too. It just feels like sometimes boys realize the time and scroll through their contacts to see any viable female options for the night. On the receiving end, you hear from someone you haven’t in forever. It could go three ways: spark a “friendship” once again for future possibilities, or turn into a one night only event, or be a completely embarrassing experience.
I’m just confused. Who told dudes that it was okay to do these things? If there’s an answer, please, please someone let me know.
I think it’s all about what you are looking for. If everyone’s on the same page, then I say no harm no foul. If you are both looking for just a fun night, that’s completely fine. Because really when you are looking for fun, and we have all been there, these technologically savvy ways are perfect for that. So live it up. The problem is, oftentimes one party is ready for marriage while the other is looking on to the next conquest. I guess that has been a problem for centuries, right? Maybe the real problem is that girls, who get the Facebook creep or text late at night, think that the boys actually like them. It has to be, because if ladies don’t indulge in boys’ lazy behavior then there would be no problems. Toughen up chicks, don’t just say yes to any walking thing that call themselves a male. Or if you are going to say yes, then get over yourself and have a reality check.
But what do I know? I see these things; I experience them and think it’s a good idea to share my thoughts with you. I could, and most likely am, 100% off base. There are the exceptions, of course (you had to have seen “He’s Just Not That Into You”). Every once and awhile you find a good guy, who doesn’t treat you like a criminal, who doesn’t look like a troll, who you don’t fight with every 47 seconds — those are fun, those are the best. And even after you guys end things, you can still be friends?! Craziness. If it’s happening right now, lucky for you — enjoy it.
I think there is a little confusion with some people. Just because a girl has a boyfriend, doesn’t mean she’s happy, and it doesn’t mean she is better than you. Many times girls just say yes because they like the label, they like the idea of having someone, which is fine until you get thrown out of a the club for making a scene as your so called love is threatening to kill you in front of your friends. Then all the single people are thinking they are so much better off.
I don’t know if women will ever really let go of the romantic things they see on television, I know I won’t, and ask any of my friends, they would NEVER describe me as “romantic.” So, keep going girls. We learn from every situation. And for the boys, please don’t be a Facebook creeper, it’s disgusting.
DISCLAIMER: Thank you to my friend Nikki for the idea. Also, I have made a billion ridiculous decisions in my life. I have no judgment, just observations.
*Photo courtesy of zazzle.com