For everyone, freshman year of college is a year of firsts. Usually more than anything else, the most significant first is the first time living away from your family. Your mom isn’t cooking you dinner, your dog isn’t sleeping in your bed, and your high school friends aren’t saving your seat in the café. But by the time you’re a senior in high school, you’re feeling like you’re ready for the independence and freedom that freshman year will bring. You want to cook your own dinner, meet new friends, and be on your own for the first time. I can definitely remember feeling this way before I went off to college. However, now that I’m in the second semester of my sophomore year I’m realizing that this has been the year when I’ve actually experienced that freedom and independence I craved two years ago. Looking back on freshman year, I was arguably more dependent than I was when I was living at home. As a freshman I never wanted to eat, walk, study, hang out or just be alone. I always needed someone to eat with. Eating alone? No way. Studying alone? In the library by myself? Absolutely not. Every time I was alone in my room doing homework I would text someone to see what they were doing and if they wanted to do homework together. If I needed to get shampoo from the CVS down the road, I would make sure someone else wanted to come so I wouldn’t have to walk there by myself. I enjoyed having the constant company of my friends and it felt strange when I didn’t have lots of people around me.
Looking back, it sounds so strange, but I’ve talked to so many of my friends who were the exact same way. I’ve decided it has something to do with the stigma of being a freshman. You don’t want so seem like a ‘loser’ sitting alone at lunch or studying by yourself when you’re surrounded by study groups. I feel like it also has to do with not yet being completely comfortable being alone. When you think about it, most of us aren’t used to it as a freshman. Between parents, siblings, teammates, classmates and friends always being there, probably since elementary school, many have never had the experience of living alone and living away.
This year, I love the times when I can just be alone. I have no shame bringing my laptop to lunch and eating a sandwich alone while I scroll through Facebook. I love my walks to class when I’m by myself and can just listen to music, or enjoy the scenery. This year my roommate rarely leaves the room so I enjoy the times when she is at the library until late at night and I can listen to music loudly, watch Netflix without headphones or Skype my friends. This year, I don’t feel as dependent on my college friends in the sense that I know they’ll be there when I need them, but I don’t always have to need them. I love going to dinner with my friends and gossiping about the week but I don’t mind grabbing a snack at the GSU, reading a book, and just hanging out by myself. Independence is a great thing and I’ve come to the realization that you can be alone without ever being lonely. I can hang out with my friends whenever I want, but now I feel confident and independent enough to be able to do some things alone. As a freshman I thought I knew what I was like to be independent and have a sense of freedom, but I think as you become more confident in yourself, and more comfortable with your friends and your surroundings you find out what real independence is and you can really appreciate your occasional time alone and away from it all.