As a self-labeled fashion girlie, you’d think that I’m decked out in vintage designer clothes every day. This is very much untrue. Most of the time, you’ll catch me in ill-fitting jeans and a T-shirt I got on sale in seventh grade.
I like to comfort myself by believing that my wardrobe is a result of a commitment to underconsumption, but really, it’s because the pieces I want are too expensive. I cycle through the same three pairs of boots, but my heart sings for more.
Ever since I bought myself my first pair of designer boots, it seems that all Pinterest and Grailed show me are shoes, each pair more magnificent than the last. Here’s a list of seven pairs of designer boots I would sell my firstborn child for.
- DSQUARED2 VITELLO LACE-UP BOOTS
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I can’t even tell you which collection these boots are from, but I can tell you I’ve only found two pairs for sale online — neither of which is my size.
These black knee-high leather boots feature a borderline-dangerous stiletto heel, an open toe, white laces running up the shoe, and a to-die-for silhouette that hugs the calves and elongates the legline. It’s stunning. What I love most about this pair of boots is how they give the illusion of a never-ending leg, which both the mile-high heel and the unbroken column of white lacing contribute to.
- GIANMARCO LORENZI PYTHON AND PONY HAIR OVER-THE-KNEE BOOTS
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This is one of the few colorful (by which I mean not all black) pairs of boots on my list. Again, it features a skinny little stiletto heel, albeit not as tall as the DSquared2 stilettos.
The combination of the smooth python leather and textured pony hair creates abundant visual interest without clashing. The python skin reflects silvery light, almost like fish scales, and the pointy toe only furthers the boot’s edge and ferocity.
A black leather strap runs down the side of the boot, all the way to the sole, embedded with silver studs and boasting an impressively embellished silver buckle. The only caveat is that this boot doesn’t fit quite as snugly around the leg as I prefer. That and the $1,500 resale price tag.
- DIOR BY GALLIANO OSTRITCH LACE-UP BOOTS
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These knee-high beauties are from Dior’s Autumn/Winter 2000-2001 collection, designed by John Galliano. Truth be told, I love anything Dior by Galliano. In my opinion, he was the visionary behind Dior’s best years.
These boots come in multiple colors, and while I always love a black boot, my favorites are the burgundy and the yellow-and-animal-print version. If you’ve seen ostrich leather before — Hermés makes Birkins out of it — you know it has the little spots all over that make the material resemble a thornless cactus. This is a turn-off for many, but on this boot, it adds visual interest to an otherwise simple design.
Vaguely inspired by 1950s saddle shoes, these stunning boots feature a plain leather toe in a complementary color to the ostrich leather, a two-inch heel slightly thicker than a stereotypical stiletto, and gold hardware across the top front of the boot in the Christian Dior logo.
- DIOR D-LEGACY KNEE-HIGH BOOTS
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These are a remake of a runway shoe, featuring black leather and a terrifying stiletto heel. If you haven’t gathered already, I love a stiletto.
This boot is probably best suited for my imagination; it’s so tight with such a ridiculously tall, skinny heel that I’d lose enough circulation in my foot to numb the pain of my ankle snapping.
The entire shoe is the same black leather material, save for the gold Christian Dior hardware across the top, same as the Galliano ostrich boots. A morbidly unreasonable and uncomfortable shoe, for sure, but gorgeous nonetheless.
- ROBERTO CAVALLI LEATHER PATCHWORK BOOTS
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I know what you’re thinking: patchwork? Trust me, Cavalli excels in patchwork leather, from coats to shoes to belts. This boot features various animal-print panels in shades of brown and beige, unified by industrial black leather panels that match the heel and bootstraps (which are, of course, for decoration).
“Roberto Cavalli” is stitched into the side of the boot in gold thread, so everybody knows you’re the coolest vintage girl around. A tiny rose is stitched into a panel below the brand name, adding an adorable detail that lends whimsy to an otherwise severe-looking shoe.
There is nothing whimsical, however, about a $590 resale price.
- VINTAGE EL DANTES EMBELLISHED BOOTS
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In all honesty, I don’t know the name of this design. All I know is that they’re vintage, they’re bluish-black, they’re El Dantes, and they’re glorious.
Adorned with circular metal studs, skinny buckles across the front, and the thinnest heel I’ve ever seen, these cowboy-inspired thigh-high boots are perfect for festival-going or, if you’re like me, strutting to Pavement just to show off an outfit.
One thing about the design that throws me off, though, is that the upper four inches of the boot don’t look like they belong. From the tip of the toe to about the knee, the boot is highly embellished with silver accents. From the knee up, it’s a swath of leather with the El Dantes crest logo thrown onto the side.
There’s a clear visual stopping point, and I wish the designers had abided by it. There’s nothing wrong with a beautiful knee-high boot; it trumps a disappointing thigh-high.
- MARC JACOBS KIKI KNEE-HIGH BOOTS
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Finally, we have the boots I’ve been thirsting over since middle school. From the Fall 2016 collection, these Victorian Gothic-inspired boots have had me in a chokehold for 10 years now. You may have seen Olivia Rodrigo wearing them on Instagram in 2021.
These boots have 11 strap buckles down the front, which I imagine you’d have to clasp one by one to get the dang thing on your foot. At six inches tall with a three-inch platform, these are by far the tallest boots on my list.
They’re also the only boots with a rounded-toe, which (I’ll admit) is not my favorite silhouette. But I’ve loved them for so long, it felt wrong to leave them off my list. Olivia Rodrigo stole my drip, and I’m determined to get it back.
And there you have it. Seven exquisite, absurdly expensive pairs of boots that haunt my dreams. Maybe one day, I’ll inherit millions from a long-lost family member and be able to buy these.
Until then, I’ll save Pinterest posts and yearn from a distance.
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