If you’re one of the really lucky ones, you came into freshman year and had an awesome roommate. You were instant best friends and even today are just like sisters. Sure this is the fantasy every collegiette wants coming to college, but the reality is more often than not you’ll have to try out a few different situations before you find that perfect friend and perfect roommate. So, even if you weren’t one of the lucky ones from the beginning you’ve been “lucky” enough to experience one or more of these lovely ladies in your quest for the perfect living situation….
THE SLOB
Need I say more? The Slob leaves her stuff everywhere. Trash, clothes, books, makeup…everything. She never makes her bed, even when you told her you have people coming over. You’re not even sure how she manages to put on clean clothes and leave the room looking decent in the mornings. It seems like she never does laundry so it’s a miracle she has things to wear. You keep your side put together but how embarrassing is it bringing a friend over to see a disaster and week-old pizza box? But hey, maybe you’re better off than the other extreme…
THE NEAT-FREAK
A germ has never lived more than 30 seconds in your room. The Neat-Freak is constantly cleaning with disinfectant: Purell, Clorox, Wet-Wipes, Aerosol you name it. She rented the vacuum so much that she went and bought her own. All her clothes are color-coded and her bed is perfectly made. Sure, you’re glad you aren’t living with The Slob, but sometimes you forget to make your bed and sometimes you forget to throw away your chips right away. It happens right? Well, not in the world of The Neat-Freak. If you forget, she’ll remind you. And remind you again. She’s not a fan of people coming in the room because they might mess up her desk or track dirt on the rug. Yikes…
THE NIGHT OWL
Does this girl ever sleep? You go to bed; she’s awake. You wake up in the morning; she’s still awake in the same position doing what looks like the same homework. She chooses 11pm to start her 6-page paper and call her boyfriend. How is she functioning on no sleep? Does she eat? Why does she wait till the last minute to do everything when she could be sleeping? Ugh. The worst part is you’re a normal person who likes a normal sleep schedule. Well, as normal as a college student can get. Sure you’ve pulled a few all-nighters but only when it’s purely necessary and you make up for it all weekend long by sleeping till noon. You’ve seriously never even seen this girl in her bed. And for goodness sake, would it kill her to turn the huge overhead lights off at 2am when you’re trying to sleep?
THE PARTY ANIMAL
Also known as the classic “ crazy college girl”. For The Party Animal, every night is a Friday night. You like to have your fun too, but on a few Fridays or Saturdays here and there. You’re not in a spandex dress with heels on wobbling back to the room at 3am on a Tuesday night. You’re so over being kicked out on a Wednesday night because she brought another guy back to “hang out”. Like hello it’s Wednesday. How does she still go to class and get grades good enough to stay in school? The Party Animal is usually exploding your newsfeed with far too many sloppy pictures of her weekly adventures and “tons of friends”. But where are all those friends the next morning to clean up her puke? She’s just soooo college.
THE RICH GIRL
The Rich Girl is casually jetting off to Paris for the long weekend in October. She’s buying herself yet another pair of boots from Steve Madden and ordering Michael Kors online with daddy’s credit card. If you’re lucky, you may have reaped some benefits from The Rich Girl, like a nice trip to her mansion in Miami or her condo in Vail but if you aren’t great friends you’re just purely jealous. You have to work your butt off to keep your scholarship to afford to come here at all. And when you graduate, you have to actually have a resume capable of getting a job because you do have loans and you don’t have a trust fund.
THE STUDIER
You’re fairly confident The Studier has never seen the light of day. Maybe she sees some light on her way to and from class because that’s the only time she isn’t nose-deep in her Biology book. Whether she’s in the library or in your room The Studier is always working. She doesn’t even know what Netflix is. Never mind how great naps are. She makes you feel like a total slacker even when you aren’t. You could pull an all-nighter and they would pull it better. Study for 24 hours straight? The Studier can study for 25. There is no way she has that much work it isn’t humanely possible. What can she possibly doing from sun up to sun down? The world will never know.
THE CHATTERBOX
The Chatterbox is often the opposite of The Studier. She’s on the phone, Skype, Face Time, iMessage, Facebook Chat, and often all at once. She squeals every time she calls her best friend on Skype and acts like she hasn’t seen her in 10 years when its literally been 10 hours. How does she know that many people and have that many things to talk about? She’s usually calling people really early or really late and is talking for hours at a time. She isn’t fazed by the awkwardness you feel when she’s screaming at her mom on the phone with you in the room. She loves Skyping her boyfriend until 2am and has no idea what an “inside voice” is. And worse, she clearly doesn’t know what headphones are either because you’ve had to hear her friends complain on Facetime all night long.
THE GIRLFRIEND
There are many different versions of The Girlfriend. Freshman year, The Girlfriend may be newly single and crying all the time missing her boyfriend who dumped her before he went to school. The Girlfriend could also be newly experiencing a long-distance relationship, meaning she’s still crying all the time. The Girlfriend is more often than not a mixture with The Chatterbox as she’s always calling him, Skyping him, texting him or messaging him. The Girlfriend will always have The Boyfriend visit which makes for an awkward situation for you. Should you leave? How long is he staying? Sometimes, The Boyfriend comes during the week and you wake up to The Girlfriend at class and the Boyfriend still in her bed right next to yours… Awkward. If you’re lucky, The Boyfriend goes to a school somewhere else so the visits aren’t super often. If you’re unlucky, The Boyfriend doesn’t go to school at all and will stay in your room for days at a time and start leaving stuff there like he lives there… so not okay.
THE BORROWER
If you and you’re roommate are best friends, The Borrower isn’t a bad thing at all. And if you’re best friends and she happens to also be The Rich Girl, you’re in even better luck. The Borrower in most situations though, is an Uninvited Borrower. She takes your stuff without asking and it’s really annoying. It started with pencils and pens but has turned into shirts and scarves. How does she think its okay to go into your closet when you aren’t even there? You try to call her out but she acts clueless. But come on, if she’s wearing your favorite shirt in front of you you’re going to notice…