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6 Things You Know When You’re Passive Aggressive

Being a passive aggressive person is the worst. It makes you angry, and all alone in your room with the rage just pent up. It’s not the healthiest way to deal with anger – sometims the best way is to just let it out on the person you’re actually angry at instead of just dropping small signs that they suck.

Here are some things that (almost) all passive aggressive people will understand.


1.  You could go without answering someone’s text messages for months if you’re holding a grudge.

It’s the subtlest way to show that you’re angry with someone. Honestly, if you haven’t heard from someone in a while, they’re either ghosting you, or they’re mad.


2. Fights with other passive aggressive people may just be resolved without speaking to each other at all.

Both of you will refuse to talk to the other – but somehow you rationalize it and become less angry, thereby forgiving the other person. It’s probably the only benefit to being passive aggressive: you can rationalize your own anger and realize that you may have overreacted. Also, you never really say anything you regret because you don’t say anything at all.


3. Fights with non-passive aggressive people may not be resolved that easily.

They don’t understand that retreating into your own world in a fuming rage is the way that you deal with anger. They may think that ignoring someone is the rudest thing you could ever do, and you won’t really have any other explanation other than “that’s how I deal with things.”


4. You leave other subtle signs that you’re angry at someone.

Like not saving someone a seat in class, claiming you “forgot,” or picking a dinner time that won’t work for that one person in a group of ten. It’s a way to hurt someone, but not too terribly.


5. You would purposefully “forget” to tell someone about something.

There’s no class on Tuesday? Let’s just not tell him, so he can still wake up at 8 AM. Or not telling someone that the homework date changed when they weren’t there in the morning to hear about it.


6. Being late when you meet with them.

Let me just waste their time. They deserve it for the thing they did five months ago. Also, it’s the most awkward thing to wait for someone in a restaurant for an hour.


I mean, it’s not that passive aggressive people are petty or anything – it’s just a different process of dealing with anger.

Alizah Ali is a senior at BU. She's working on her biology-premed degree, which finds her often in the quietest parts of the library. She loves coffee and bunnies and running whenever the Boston weather lets her. She's a big advocate for mental health destigmatization and awareness. Follow her on instagram @lizza0419
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