6 People I Hate on Comm Ave
1. The Stragglers. These people legitimately seem not to have a care in the world. They stroll at .00001 miles per hour, always within that area of the sidewalk that makes it awkward and difficult to pass them. It’s 12:20 PM on a Tuesday, do you really have nowhere to be?
2. The Smokers. I’m convinced that there’s a dry ice machine hidden by the front doors of SMG. Also, a special shout out to people who walk while smoking, giving me a black lung if I get stuck behind them.
3. People Who Walk Way Too Close. These people have no concept of a personal bubble. There is more than enough sidewalk for everyone, my friends.
4. Bikers on the Sidewalk. I wonder if they see that special line with the bikes painted on it? Either way, these bikers have nearly sliced a pinkie toe on one too many occasions.
5. People Handing Out Crappy Free Stuff. Sorry, I’m not especially interested in an audio book version of the Bible or a sketchy energy drink that I’ve never heard of. I will proceed to avoid eye contact and pretend you don’t exist.
6. The Clusterers. Chatting in front of the Warren escalators, camped out in front of a CAS staircase, congregating in front of GSU entrances. These are the natural habitats of the clusterer.