Thanks to Hulu, I recently stumbled upon the early 2000’s classic Sabrina the Teenage Witch, which I must say, is a lot funnier than my fourth grade self gave it credit for. And the true comedic genius of the show and also the character I saw the most of myself in, was the talking cat, Salem. Now I have to admit to being more of the “dog person” type, but Salem was making some very good points about life and the best ways to respond to the difficulties along the way. So I’ll admit it, I felt a really deep connection with the cat. He knew my daily struggles and took them in stride with the help of sarcasm and sass, two of my favorite nouns out there. And here I have compiled a detailed list of reasons as to why Salem the cat is your spirit animal too.
1. He’s actually a human who was turned into a cat as punishment for attempting to take over the world. How cool is that?
2. He’s all about trying out new looks. Meaning he wouldn’t judge your decision to buy those Zara overalls, but would instead have bought a matching pair.
3. He knows all about your need for immediate food delivery. And he dealt with this need during a time when you actually had to talk to a human being to order food *shudder* (Seamless FTW).
4. He just gets your relationship with food in general.
5. He understands your horror at seeing a middle schooler having cooler instagram pictures than you. When did a 12 year old learn how to put on makeup? I still don’t know how to.
6. He has appropriately witty, yet rude responses to the questions you don’t want to answer. Ie: Do you want to be friends with your ex’s new gf?
7. He can relate to your common girl needs of sunshine and Starbucks (oooh alliteration).
8. He likes to live on the wild side by making irresponsible decisions. Just like you!
9. He enjoys the simpler things in life.
10. He likes nothing more than looking down on the peasants of the world (fun hobby of mine, too).
11. He has a musical side to him. Look out John Legend; he’s coming for you as the next attractive piano crooner.
12. He has no problem telling you what he really thinks. But he’s a cute talking cat so he can get away with it.
13. He’ll totally be down to going to any music festival with you, seeing as he has the aforementioned musical talent. But he also dabbles in the DJ business.
14. He has the best life advice. Really knows what your priorities should be.
5. He knows that a good cry is healthy and necessary, especially in times of stress/failure/Vampire Diaries season finale (will Elena and Damon finally be happy??).
To summarize: Salem is all of us. We are Salem. And that’s completely fine with me.