After all the sweet “good morning” texts, romantic dates, mushy photos that made others jealous, and endless nights together, the D-day of relationships comes. The day you make it “officially unofficial”; the day you will remember as clearly as the first date: the breakup. Maybe you thought this relationship would be different than the others; you thought it would last. You thought he was “the one,” and you thought the day it all came crashing down would be the worst. Unfortunately, its the days that follow that seem to be the hardest. Although break-ups are never easy, following these ten steps may help you bounce back from your breakup quicker than you thought would be possible.
1) Get Active.
Moping around in grungy sweats while wallowing in your sorrows will never be a remedy for a breakup. Go out and get active! Now that you’ve freed your schedule from time that was dedicated to your ex, you have more time to get involved in other activities. Join a new club or take up a new hobby you’ve always wanted to try! Give back and volunteer some of your time in a community service initiative. Hit the gym and get fit. Your options are limitless, and keeping busy will divert your attention from the negative thoughts and emotions associated with your recent breakup.
Bonus: You may even meet some new friends or a new potential mate in the process of getting more involved and active.
Caution: Don’t overwork yourself in an attempt to block all of your feelings. It is unhealthy to avoid your emotions.
2) Cry it Out.
If anyone ever told you it wasn’t okay to cry, they were wrong! Don’t suppress your sadness, anger, loneliness, regret, or whatever else you may be feeling. Allow yourself to feel sadness and pain and express it the best way you know how—talk it out with a friend, write it out, paint it out, whatever makes you feel comfortable. But whatever you do, don’t avoid your emotions or you’ll never move past them. So go ahead girl–cry if you need to!
3) Girls Night.
Nothing screams “I’m so over my ex!” like celebrating with the girls. Whether you get dolled up and soak up the Boston night life or stay inside for a relaxing sleepover, positive girlfriends can definitely help you cope with your breakup. If even just for one night, you are able pig out, go crazy, and have some fun–what better way to get your mind off of your ex! However, I would suggest avoiding the romance flicks or romantic comedies. Comedies are ideal, though, because you could benefit from a good laugh.
Caution: Don’t use this night as an oppor
tunity to quickly jump on the rebound train if you spend girl’s night partying. Don’t let your girls convince you this is the way to go. Go to Step 8 for further details. Also, avoid going on a reasons-why-your-ex-sucks rampage all night. You don’t need o be thinking of him in any form or fashion– good or bad.
4) Retail Therapy.
I think this step is pretty self explanatory. We’re girls and we love to shop. It makes us happy! A couple of new additions to your wardrobe never hurt anyone. You’ll feel great in that new pair of colored skinnies or that flattering maxi.
Caution: Don’t allow your emotions to get the best of you, causing you to be left with a hole in your wallet. Be smart and spend within reason. All you need is a quick retail pick-me-up.
5) Body Upkeep.
Mourning the “loss” of your boyfriend is not an excuse to let yourself go, no matter how hurt you are. Exercise regularly. Eat healthy. Try not to overeat, especially when it comes to junk food, and avoid excessive use of drugs or alcohol. Your psyche is already a little bruised from the pain; your body shouldn’t suffer too.
Bonus: The better you look, the better you’ll feel! So keep your body looking good. You may even attract a new caller or make your ex realize what he’s missing (although I’m not encouraging working out solely to make him jealous or regretful. That’s not healthy either).
6) Replace the Love Songs.
remind you of your past relationship. So forget about that song that was “your song,” and the ditch the droning, painful breakup ballads. Instead, replace them with a playlist of your favorite pump-up jams. Whenever you feel down or think of your ex, pop in your headphones and rock out. Feel free to dance and let loose! After all, your ex was probably no good for you anyway, so use this jam session as a time to celebrate.
7) Replace Memory Triggers.
Sure, that stuffed bear he bought you on Valentine’s Day is adorable. And that photo you took on the beach together is beyond picture perfect. But you will never move on as long as you hold onto tangible memories of him. Ditch the stuffed animals. Replace his photos on the wall with photos of the friends and family you love. Return any of his belongings or otherwise, get rid of them. Clear your space of constant reminders of him.
8) Avoid Rebounds.
Ladies, we’re better than this. A rebound is never the answer! Although it may satisfy you in the moment, a rebound won’t console you in the long run. If anything, it will only make you feel less happy with yourself when you recap the moment later. You don’t need that host of emotions on top of the post-breakup ones you already have!
9) Turn Off Your Couple Radar.
I know it seems that literally everyone around you is in a relationship when you’re single. We’ve all been there. But try to turn off that radar that notices couples and only couples when you’re strolling through Comm Ave. It will only amplify your feelings of sadness and loneliness. You’re not the only one who’s single. Remember that!
10) Focus on YOU.
The most important step to coping with your breakup is to focus on yourself. You may find yourself thinking of your ex, or wondering if he is thinking about you as much as you still think about him. But do not spend your time agonizing over every little move your ex makes or every thought he may or may not have. The key is to move forward and make yourself the center of attention.
Caution: Refrain from stalking your ex on social media in an attempt to answer questions you may be asking yourself in regards to his current emotional or relationship status. Nine times out of ten, you will never be able to definitively figure out the answers to what you’ve been wondering. Besides, you’re in college with tons of work to do. You don’t have time to be a creep anyway!
Relationships will come and go. The next breakup may never be any easier to deal with than the last, but with a little effort, you could easily make a come-back. Good luck! Mr. Right is out there somewhere to save you from suffering from another painful breakup.