Like the majority of college girls, I watch The Bachelor every Monday. I fill up my wine glass and settle down with my friends to watch Nick attempt to find love for the fourth time. Between The Bachelor, The Bachelorette and Bachelor in Paradise I’ve picked up on a few patterns; every season there is the same group of people. With the announcement that Rachel is the new Bachelorette (!!!!!!) came the realization that the same types of men will come rolling up to the mansion on May 22nd.
1. The Military Veteran
Every season has at least one, and he will always be a babe and a half. He’s likely to be the strong silent type who opens up on the one-on-one date making Rachel, and probably you, cry. He will likely make it to hometowns at least.
2.) The Athlete
He didn’t go pro but he’s totally not upset about it and definitely not trying to use this show to launch some kind of sports announcer career (@Jordan Rogers). He will kick ass on all the athletic group dates, but his competitive side will make him fight with the other boys in the house.
3.) The One with Kids
Every season someone has kids, and every season America freaks out over the idea of someone going on the show as a parent. This season will be no different, except that the man probably won’t get as much criticism for leaving his kids behind to be on the show because #sexism.
4.) The One Who Will Try to Prove How “Woke” He Is
Rachel being the first black Bachelorette is historic, which means that this season will likely focus a lot on her race. There is bound to be at least one white boy who will go out of his way to prove that he’s not like other men. He will likely take on the villain.
5.) The Musician
He’ll bring his guitar and serenade Rachel on their one-on-one, and she’ll try to pretend she doesn’t know he’s there to launch a music career.
6.) The Funny One
America will fall in love with this guy, but unfortunately Rachel won’t. Much like we all died a little inside when Wells got sent home, we will all shed a single tear at the departure of this man.
7.) The One Who No One Can See the Appeal Of
Last season it was Evan (sorry man), that was just odd. He stayed around for a while and no one really knew why. Then again Rachel was dating Nick, so her taste is questionable at best.
8.) The Villain
Every season they get more and more ridiculous. So after Chad and Corrine, it’s anyone’s guess what type of douche will strut out of that limo. He’ll be there a few weeks before getting kicked off on a dramatic two-on-one and then reappearing on Paradise to cause hell.
9.) The One You’ll Forget Is There
This season it was Whitney (whatney, whoney). Next season there is bound to be some mediocre man who will fly under everyone’s radar only to be sent home way closer to the end than anyone was expecting.
10.) The Runner-Up
For whatever reason Rachel won’t pick him, but he’ll be interesting enough to last, and hopefully interesting enough to become the next Bachelor because Nick is a bore.
There you have it, the 10 types of guys that will definitely be on Rachel’s season of The Bachelorette! Let’s just hope that with a more diverse Bachelorette, there’s a more diverse cast, because Jojo’s final few all looked the same.