As a college freshman only a few weeks into this whirlwind of a dramatic life change, I don’t know everything about how to survive college. However, I do have effective tips for how to maintain a healthy outlook on this new lifestyle and how to ground yourself in stressful circumstances. The first thing to keep in mind when transitioning from your life back home to an unfamiliar, new environment with a bunch of strangers and new responsibilities is that you are not alone. No one in life knows what they are doing. We seem to be our own worst enemies and allow ourselves to believe that we have to confront these difficult challenges independently. The truth is, though, that most people around you is anxious about the same thing.
Part of what makes college a special and memorable experience is that it hurls you into the adult world. You are suddenly in charge of everything in your day-to-day life, including things that perhaps your parents or guardians have done for you all your life. Now you are expected to wake up on your own, keep up with general hygiene, make sure you eat regularly and healthily, get exercise and be on top of your homework and assignments. On top of all these expectations, it is also necessary that you make time for meeting new people, socializing, and most importantly, finding time for yourself. Although the hierarchy of importance is somewhat clouded over time as life gets more demanding, your mental health and overall well-being are more important than the grade you get in Latin or Econ. Even when the going gets tough you MUST find time to recollect and reconnect with yourself. Check in every once in a while. What I like to do is use a grounding technique taught to me by my life-saving therapist back home.
Before you begin this grounding practice, sit or lay in a comfortable position and perform a four part breath. This is when you still inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth but you inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, breathe out for 4 seconds, and hold for a final 4 seconds. Repeat as needed.
This five-senses technique is a practice to remove yourself from reality and create a healthy, temporary distraction from whatever is corroding your mind.
- Touch
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As you have already done, you have come to acknowledge the ground with which you are connected. Now ask yourself: What else can I feel? What can I physically touch? Feel the sensation of your clothing and think about what the fabric feels like against your skin. Is it soft? Is it warm? Then you can move on to things such as the feeling of your hair resting on your shoulders, the dangling of the earrings you have on, the wind brushing up against your face or the warmth of the sun on your back.
- sight
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Open your eyes and have a good look around. What do you see? What color is the sky, how many people are around you and how bright are the lights? Is something catching your eye and if so, what is it and why? Immerse yourself in your surroundings.
- hearing
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You may choose to keep your eyes open or closed depending on comfortability, but I notice I can fixate on my hearing more easily if my eyes are shut. Whatever you choose, remain silent and listen intently. Do you hear music, the sound of birds chirping, the rusting of leaves, the crackle of a fire, the soft and soothing sound of rain or the buzzing of bees? Perhaps you’re inside hearing the low hum of the fluorescent lights above you, the whirling of a ceiling fan or the vibrations of the air conditioner or other machinery? Find yourself submerged in the noises around you. Notice and observe the sounds without the interference of thought. Just listen and continue your breathing.
- smell
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Depending on where you are, this sense could be more or less pleasing. If you’re trying to ground yourself in a sweaty gym that reeks of socks and musk, maybe it’s in your best interest to skip this step and keep using your previous sense.
Try to pick out scents and break them down. Can you smell the burning of firewood, freshly cut grass, the sweetness of flowers, a home-cooked meal, the perfume you’re wearing or the crispness of the autumn breeze? You can then break these smells down by asking yourself questions such as: How far away is that smell? What is in that home-cooked meal I’m smelling? Which perfume did I put on and do I like it?
- taste
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The final sense (as long as you don’t have the sixth sense) is taste, which is usually the hardest sense to focus on. We don’t taste things 24/7, but we do feel, hear, see and smell all the time. If you can’t taste anything you may refer back to the other senses. However, if you can find distinct tastes, focus all your attention on them. Sometimes taste can be the quickest way to unlock a good memory, so it’s a great sense, if applicable, to use to calm yourself down. Maybe the savory sweetness of apple pie brings you back to baking with your parents or grandparents. Perhaps the puckered-up sour taste of Warheads or Sour Patch Kids brings you back to trick-or-treating with friends or doing weird challenges to see who can last the longest with your favorite cousins. I think it’s quite difficult to break apart a taste, though you may be different in that regard and if so, embrace it.
I like to end this practice with taste when I can. After coming down from an anxiety-ridden ordeal and going through the first four senses to relax, taste is a great segue into a memory that could turn your negative feelings into a memory that brings a smile to your face and reminds you that this is just a bad day or a bad experience. It won’t last forever, and inevitably there will be more, but now you have this technique under your belt to use whenever you feel the urge to escape a difficult situation and get in touch with yourself as well as your surroundings. Keep your head up and take one day at a time.