By the time our training session on confrontation rolled around, I was ready for Customs Week (Bryn Mawr’s student-led orientation) to start. I had spent the days leading up the class of 2021’s arrival attending a variety of trainings and information sessions, and I was more than a little tired. The Customs people’s anticipation to meet the first-years on their hall was palpable.
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Nevertheless, I had this last session of the day to get through – the topic of the Social Honor Code and confrontation at Bryn Mawr. I had learned about the Social Honor Code during my own Customs Week a year earlier and encountered its manifestations on campus throughout my first year. However, the session ended up being more than just a refresher on previous information for me.
One scenario that I often see playing out at other colleges and universities is this seniority-based hierarchy. Some of that is just natural; being a first year student can be a very scary and new experience, and upperclassmen are already used to it. However, sometimes first-years are guilted or shamed into silence by social hierarchies that assert upperclassmen as unquestionable. They are taught not to speak up when others make them uncomfortable or do questionable things.
I don’t mean to say that doesn’t ever happen at Bryn Mawr or that first-years aren’t sometimes scared to speak up on a campus that’s initially very unfamiliar and intimidating to them. Because that’s not the case. If everyone followed the Honor Code all the time, there would be no need for confrontation. But I was reminded during my training session that our community specifically states and promotes speaking up. We are encouraged to speak out, tell people when they are hurting us and directly resolve conflict. And this isn’t just a college skill – it’s a life skill.
There are going to be times in the workforce and in my future when others are going to make me uncomfortable, go against my values or cause conflict in some other way. And one thing Bryn Mawr has taught me so far is that, when (not if) that happens, I’m going to be okay. I have the ability and power to speak for myself. I can honestly and directly confront a conflict at its source. In a sense, confrontation is empowerment.
When a student confronts another student who stole food from the fridge, regardless of class year, that’s empowering. It’s a reminder that we have the ability to influence and change our environment for the better and that no flimsy hierarchy can take that away from us. And while that can be a challenge, I’m glad to know the community at least recognizes my, and everyone else’s, individual power.