Stages of attempting to get your life together after a night out!
Stage 1: HYDRATE
You’ve arisen and you are alive! In rough shape, but you made it through another night and therefore… SUCCESS! However, you are currently in a half-drunken and half hungover state. Your mind is foggy and you attempt to find water like you have been in the dessert for months. You mindlessly wander your room until you can find this liquid gold. Next, send out usual group message to girls, “Everyone alive?”
Stage 2: LOCATE
Locate all essentials! Phone, ID, key, credit cards. How you kept all of these safe after throwing them in your back pocket and then proceeding to dance the night away? You will never know. Shout out to your friends who most-likely found these items all over the bar, repeatedly, and kept giving them back to you. But no matter how it happened, they are there and you can now breathe.
Side note: If fanny packs are coming back into style, this could definitely be a great use for them!
Stage 3: REMEMBER
Read messages, watch snap-stories, check out photos and gather suitemates. Everyone needs to share their recollection of the night. There are a few spots that are a bit hazy… Get over the stupid things you said, examine the bruises, cringe a little, laugh a lot and swear to never repeat certain choices.
Stage 4: CLEAN
Nothing makes us feel like our life is a mess, like a dirty room. Throw away the cups, hide every trace of alcohol (because even the slightest smell is killing you), wipe all dirty surfaces (why is everything so sticky?), put away the 100 outfits you tried on and finally, make your bed (even though you never do, right now it is essential). We promise, a clean living area will make you feel like you have your shit together.
Stage 5: SEIZE THE DAY
Wipe off your makeup
Text your mother (so she knows you’re still breathing)
Drink 10 more waters!!
Check your email, figure out what your week entails and get to work.
You will accomplish things today. This is the magic world of college, where you can have your beer (and everyone else’s) and get A’s too!