Here at Her Campus, we like to help our fellow classmates! This is our #Bryant2017 Series where we will be writing numerous articles that will help ease the transition from “senior fever” to the new kid on block here in Smithfield.
As orientation season is in full swing, so is the season of awkward encounters of making new friends. Most of you will be leaving behind your entire group of friends when you come to Bryant in the fall. That means you will have to scrapbook up the memories and friends from your childhood and truly begin to make new memories with new friends. On top of trying to find people who live up to your group of friends from home, you have to also worry about not being awkward when you do meet people. Trust me, it is much easier said than done.
We’re here to share some tips on how to completely, and we mean completely, avoid awkward or dissatisfying encounters with potentially new amigos. So whether you laugh through this article or finish reading it with so many questions to ask, these tips are for you.
We promise you your first few days of freshmen year will be totally awkward (how encouraging, we know). But, we also promise that you will end up making such an amazing group of friends which will definitely live up to your friends at home, sometimes even better, and look back at those awkward moments and laugh…just like we did and still do! Ready for some tips?
Spend a lot of time with people. If you hear a group of girls in the room next to you laughing and chatting, don’t be afraid to knock on the door! Ask to borrow something like nail polish or something that all girls have in common-not only will they all start a conversation with you about nail polish but you’ll end up sitting, laughing, and chatting with them! Also, don’t be afraid to grab your roommate and knock on all the doors and say, “Hey, we’re having everyone in my room to meet each other if you and your roommate want to come!”
Spend a lot of time alone. This is completely contradicting of the previous tip but try and do a little bit of both-spending time with people and alone! Don’t be afraid to sign up for a club alone. The biggest mistake freshmen make is they are too scared to do anything alone! Go to a club meeting and meet new people. Go the the gym, the library, or the laundry room alone. You will make friends in the weirdest places-we promise!
Do not gossip. This cannot be stressed enough but please do not gossip! Refrain from judging girls who walk by or sharing secrets someone else told you-especially during your first few weeks. Gossiping will eventually come back to haunt you and will also close up opportunities to making friends who think you will be loyal. Despite how hard it is to not point out an awful outfit or a strange hairdo-refrain from it-you never know if the other person knows that person or likes what you were judging!
Shake a hand and smile. The first handshake you make on Bryant’s campus will not be your last, it will be your first of thousands. So, practice a firm handshake while you can! Shaking a hand, making eye contact, and smiling, really goes a long way. A simple, “Hi, my name is ____, what’s yours?” can open up the floor for a great conversation and even a great friendship! Be sure to slyly wipe your hand on your pants before shaking it just in case they are sweaty from nervousness and don’t grip the other person’s hand too tight! In fact, why don’t you go practice the art of handshaking with your family just to make sure you get it right?
Connect with your team. This is for the athletes-connect with your team. You most likely will be moving in early if you are an athlete so take advantage of being there before everyone else. Order Chinese with your team one night and ask all the upper-classmen what you should expect your freshmen year…those questions aren’t stupid, we’ve all been there!
Talk to everyone. When you’re standing in South waiting for the cute old guy to make you your salad, chat it up with him! He loves to talk and he has been there longer than you so don’t be afraid to ask him what the best thing on the menu is or what has been his funniest memory at Bryant thus far. The workers at Bryant are possibly the best in the world, they love greeting everyone they walk by, have the best stories, and keep our campus spectacularly shiny. Talk to everyone—the workers, President Ronald and Kati Machtley (they will walk by A LOT), the squirrels (actually, keep that to yourself), the coaches, the faculty, etc. In fact, grab the attention of the person sitting next to you in class and ask to borrow a pencil! You never know the conversation and friendship that can come out of it!
Start a convo. I found this little blurb about starting a conversation through Wikipedia (go figure), and found it to be absolutely perfect-There are many ways to do this [start a conversation]; a comment about your immediate environment (The weather is a classic: “At least it’s not raining like last week!”), a request for help (“Can you help me carry a few boxes, if you have a minute?” or “Can you help me decide which one of these is a better gift for my mom?”) or a compliment (“That’s a nice car.” or “I love your shoes.”). Follow up immediately with a related question: Do you like this warm weather? What kinds of gifts do you normally buy for your mom? Where did you get shoes like that? Try to follow a 30/70 pattern with the person you are talking with—30% talking, 70% listening.
Everyone will be asking for your hometown and which dorm you are living in-you should ask too! You never know, the person you meet could live in your hometown and you may have never known if you didn’t ask. You will meet people from all over, start conversations about anything and everything.
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Join clubs and organizations. At Bryant, this will be so easy that it won’t even take much effort. We have a HUGE clubs & organizations fair within the first few weeks of school that you will hear about. Head down to it and sign up for everything and anything that interests you! Then, try and go to the first meetings of the ones you signed up for to get a feel for it-if you love it, stay committed to it! If you don’t, well that’s okay too because we have over 100 to pick from and if you can’t find the one you’re looking for, go ahead and create it (no, really, it’s encouraged!)
Say your name. It’s super easy to start a conversation with someone because you both just witnessed something funny or weird happen. Before you know it, you’ve been talking for ten minutes and you have absolutely no idea what their name is. Jump in and say, “By the way, I’m ____”. Once you say your name, the other person will say theirs!
Refrain from overstaying your welcome. This is something that isn’t difficult to do but it is so awkward when it does happen. If you are in someone’s room just having small talk or introducing yourself, close it up if you’re finding it hard to think of something to say next. Wrap up the conversation with a, “I want to finish unpacking a bit but it was awesome to meet you, let’s grab lunch tomorrow if you have time?!” This gives a breath of fresh air for the two of you to avoid any awkward silence or weird goodbyes!
Get some digits but put down the phone. When you meet someone or a group of people who you instantly connect with, grab their number! “Let me grab your number so we can meet up this weekend!” It’s not sketchy, creepy, or weird…it’s normal. Once they give you their number shoot them a quick text that says your name so they know to save your contact. Once you exchange numbers, put your phone away! Stay clear of the social media world when with friends and live in the moment. Socialize with the people around you in a face-to-face interaction, not through a website!
Relax. We know this is a lot of information, but just relax. You’re going to have a ton of awkward encounters and you’re going to have a ton of normal encounters. If you just stay relaxed, we are sure you will find your place and begin calling Bryant your home away from home.
Good luck with your future encounters with meeting new friends at Bryant. We cannot wait to share our campus with you and hear all about all the friends you begin to make! We are sure they will last a lifetime :)