Mr. and Mrs. Matchley
Classic. You literally can’t go wrong with the Bryant staple. Grab your boyfriend and force him into a suit so he can lie to his friends and say that he’s Jordan Belfort or something. A win-win for everyone.
Skunks
Hopefully you don’t take it too far and try to make this scandalous, because the skunk epidemic on this campus is no laughing matter. This might be scarier than being a clown this year because we genuinely are afraid to walk past skunks at night. Stay safe kids.
As one of the most appreciated employees on this campus, you should consider honoring Nick this year. Grab a white polo, brown hat, and an apron. Take everyone’s ridiculous orders and smile through the pain because you’re a good person. You could also hand out free bagels and be the life of the party.
Tupper
Ladies grab your dog ears! This could easily be a skanky outfit, but in order to avoid being basic this year, we recommend covering yourself in slobber. Like, tons of slobber. And it you’re super drunk at the end of the night, don’t worry, your friends can just push you back in a baby stroller. Go bulldogs!
Pond Monster
We all know that one guy who always ends up in the pond, take a page out of his book and be a pond monster this year. Cover yourself in leaves and water and walk around with a broken bottle. Viola, disgusting! You can also go all out by getting a staph infection, but we don’t really recommend that.
Squirrels
Awh so cute! Grab some cute ears and a big fuzzy tail. Carry miscellaneous food in your mouth while you hop around the town houses. Stay still while people come up to you, but run away in the opposite direction if they get too close, ruining all hope of being someone’s new dorm room pet.
DPS
We found reflective straps online for, like, $10. Stay at the entrance of the townhouses and confiscate everyone’s alcohol, then when no one’s looking, drink it all yourself. Stand outside of a house until exactly 1 A.M. and then go in and tell everyone to leave. Disclaimer: everyone will secretly hate you but act like they respect you.
The Globe
Get a rusty globe costume online and somehow become the face of Bryant. This weekend just stand still and wait for freshman girls to try and climb on you, but be sure to have terrible lighting so that they’re unable to get a decent Insta.
Barb from Salmo
Find a brown/tan polo and ask to swipe everyone’s ID. Go out of your way to complement virtually everyone that walks past you. Have some crafts going on, and just be an all-around amazing person. You’ll be the life of the party.
Bagpipe Dan
It might be a little late to try this one, but it won’t hurt to plan for next year. Purchase a kilt and bagpipes. Take lessons on how to play the bagpipes. Be the best bagpipe player you can be and wow the townhouses. Go on to win bagpipe competitions, get married, and live a beautiful Scottish life.
Transport
Group costume alert! Grab your friends and plan out a super cool way to dress up as a transport this year. Pretend to wet your pants and mess up your make up. Get your friends to dress up as DPS and nurses and carry you around all night.