Every human interaction we have influences our mood, thoughts and memories, and essentially contributes to shaping who we are. The Ubuntu Theory describes this concept: “A person is a person through other persons…my humanity is caught up, bought up, inextricably with yours.” Too often, we are so caught up in our own lives as separate individuals, that we forget how impactful human connection with others can be.
Have you ever received a compliment from a complete stranger and noticed that it brightened your day and actually put you in a better mood? On the other hand, have you ever been honked at by someone, unwarranted, and instantly feel it worsen your mood? Has a personable cashier ever lifted your spirits? Or, has a rude and unfriendly cashier brought them down? I’ve experienced all of these scenarios and they affect my mood more than one would expect.
The Weak Tie Theory proposes that small interactions with acquaintances and strangers (weak ties) are extremely important and can even have a greater impact on your mood than the bonds with your friends and family (strong ties). The theory argues that the strong ties keep us grounded and influence our overall happiness, but the weak ties allow our happiness and mood to fluctuate up and down on a momentary basis throughout the day.
Now think about this: you likely have had these “weak tie”, small interactions that have affected you in the past either positively or negatively. However, are you aware that you are just as easily able to positively or negatively influence other people in the same way? It’s important to remember that a little goes a long way and a small friendly gesture can really brighten someone’s day. Similarly, you should keep in mind that even brief unfriendly, aggressive, or mean acts can significantly damper someone’s mood. Here are some small things you can do to brighten someone’s day:
- Lend a hand to someone that looks like they might be in need of help. If someone is struggling to carry something, offer to carry some of it. If you see someone drop everything they’re holding, go over and help them pick it up. If you see someone that’s struggling to get the gas pump to work at the gas station, go over and try to help them.
- Be friendly to customers in your place of work. Whether you are an employee at a clothing store, a cashier at a grocery store, or a worker behind the counter at Subway, people will have a much more pleasant experience if you greet them with a friendly attitude.
- Say hello or smile when you pass someone you know, even if you don’t know them that well. This small gesture radiates friendliness and exhibits an example of human connection. By activating a few small muscles in your face, you can make someone feel happy and acknowledged.
- Put some change in an expired parking meter. Even though the person won’t know who did it, it will be greatly appreciated. Similarly, be a courteous driver and let people merge in front of you, especially if they seem to be in a rush. Practice mindfulness while driving and try to be a kind driver on the road.
- Do something simple that can help someone. Hold the door for the people behind you, and even hold it so they can enter the room before you. Or if you see a couple taking a selfie, ask if they want to have a photo taken of the two of them.
- Give a compliment. Whether it’s on somebody’s clothes, jewelry, eyes or work ethic, giving a compliment to people goes a long way; it boosts their self confidence and gives them a reason to feel good about themselves.
- Let someone pay ahead of you, if you’re in a line with more items than the person behind you. It will be extremely appreciated, as it will save time for that person, and you won’t lose much time by doing so. You can even let someone in front of you that has roughly the same number of items as you, if you notice they are in a rush.
- If you experience exceptional service somewhere, make it known! Write a review or tell a manager that you adored one of their employees. You can even leave a note for a hardworking employee, such as a “thank you note” for office janitors. Give well-deserved tips to employees that you respected because hard work often goes unrecognized. Let them know you appreciate their work; it will boost their confidence.
- If you don’t finish your entire meal, try to find a homeless person to give it to. This is a powerful and direct way to affect positive change.
- Start a conversation with someone who you are going to be around for a while, such as the person sitting next to you on the airplane or the person behind you in a long line. Having a conversation will create a connection that is appreciated by both parties. People love talking about themselves and learning about others, which can be achieved through amicable and genuine conversation. Although cliché, all friends are strangers at the beginning, and you never know what may come from small talk.
We need to remember that even though we are individuals, we are still part of a larger community. Research has shown that people who live longest, not only lead a healthy lifestyle, but also tend to engage and connect with the people around them. Sometimes we are present in the moment, but do not realize how much we can do to shape the moment. We can’t control how long we are going to live, but we can control how much we contribute while we are alive. The easiest way to be forgotten and to live an insignificant life is to allow other people to positively affect you, without you doing the same for others. Impacting others allows us to feel worthwhile, knowing we are positively contributing to someone else’s life.