Before graduation, we all feared the great separation. I know my friends and I did. Now that it’s been over a year and we’re starting our second year of university, it still feels like yesterday. I’m lucky to have made amazing friends at Brown, and I know they’ll be around for a long time. But my friends from home watched me grow up, and they deserve a front-row seat to this next chapter too, even if it’s through a screen. I feel like I haven’t really missed a beat in my home friends’ lives, because we’ve gotten pretty good at long-distance. Here’s how.
1. Embrace Snapchat and other social media
Controversial take, I know. Most of us feel too grown for Snapchat, and I get it. But as other international students would understand, my home friend group is spread across 4 time zones in 3 countries. An app like Snapchat or even WhatsApp means nobody has to worry about SIM card changes or cellular plans.
And the real magic is in the snaps. My home group chat is one of the most active ones you’ll see on the app. We send vlogs and life updates daily, anything from a shopping haul to someone ranting about an exam. It makes me feel like my own YouTuber, which my middle school self would be thrilled about, and it keeps me entertained while I do my makeup, walk to class, or suffer through cardio at the gym. Most importantly, I actually know what’s going on in their lives. When someone name-drops a college friend that I’ve actually never met, or complains about something a kid in their class did, I’m right there with them.
2. Plan calls in advance
With 4 time zones to juggle, spontaneous group calls don’t happen. We schedule ours at least 2 weeks out so everyone can block it off in their calendars, and we treat that time as non-negotiable. It’s hard to find a slot that works for every schedule, so when you land on one, protect it. Texting and vlogs are great, but nothing beats laughing and catching up in real time, screen to screen.
3. Visit when you can
I’m still working on this one. So far I’ve only visited a few friends at nearby Boston schools, but every trip has been the best. Seeing a friend in their element, in the life they’ve built for themselves, makes me feel like a proud mom. You get to walk their campus, try their dining hall, crash in their dorm, and see what their days actually look like. Plus, nothing beats reuniting after months apart, especially if you get a dramatic rom-com run across the street.
If you have a long weekend or break, save up for that Amtrak or plane ticket. Even if your schools run on different calendars (hi, quarter system), your non-overlapping breaks are the perfect chance to visit each other. Or hey, if you’re able to pop back home for a long weekend, you better take advantage: here’s a guide on how to spend a weekend home in NYC the right way.
4. Don’t underestimate the little things
For my birthday in September, one of my best friends from home mailed me a handwritten letter. It was just her words on paper, but I’ve never felt so loved. When another close friend went through a breakup, I couldn’t be there to give her a shoulder to cry on, so I DoorDashed her some warm cookies instead. It’s not the same as a hug, but it counts. So when you wish you could be there in person, find another way to show up. It’ll be appreciated.
One of the best parts of college is making new friends while holding on to your old ones. Keep the people who’ve seen you through everything close, introduce them to your college friends, and let it all turn into one big family. That’s what a real long-distance relationship looks like, and it’s the kind that lasts.