Everyone always says you meet the friends that you will have for the rest of your life in college. Although this statement holds true for some college friendships, it can be misleading and does not always paint the most realistic picture of all the friendships you will make while away at school. College friendships are ever changing and evolving. The people you become closest with at the beginning of your freshman year might not be your best friends at the end of senior year. The natural ebb and flow of friendships is not something to be fearful of but rather to be mindful of while you navigate the inevitable changes you will encounter.
Some friendships naturally fizzle out. You may be close to someone due to common schedules during one semester or living on the same hall one year. However, when the circumstances that brought you two together change, sometimes the relationship does to. If this friendship is truly meaningful to you, then you should both make an effort to reach out and plan time to see each other. You may very well find that although you enjoyed spending time with this friend at one point, the friendship was primarily based off of “convenience” rather than a genuine connection. This realization is not something to feel badly about. Friendships can peter out without either party making any conscious effort to sway the relationship in that way. If you find yourself in this situation, recognize what is happening and truly ask yourself if it is what you want. There is nothing wrong with letting a friendship wane if you feel like that trajectory is best for you and the other person.
On the other hand, you may experience a friendship that is by no means dimming but just does not feel positive for you anymore. There are a plethora of reasons why a once constructive friendship could change into the opposite. Before you take any drastic measures, really take the time to access what is upsetting you about the friendship. If the problem you identify seems menable, take the time to talk to your friend and try to sort things out. However, if upon deep consideration, you identify a fundamental issue that you genuinely do not think can be fixed, you may need to consider letting the friendship go. At the end of the day, your mental health and happiness should be your priority. Therefore, a friendship that consistently leaves you feeling uneasy or upset is not one you should be apart of. Understandably so, it is extremely difficult to end a friendship when it is no longer healthy. The best way to handle this type of situation is to be upfront with the person. Tell your friend how you are feeling and simply ask for space. Most people will understand and appreciate your honesty.
Friends are an important part of every student’s life in college; they essentially become your second family while you are away from home. Your “second family” should be filled with people that you feel supported by and genuinely enjoy spending time with. Friendships change so that you can eventually find the people you feel most comfortable and happy with.